


Like a Slow Fire Burn

by elless



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-01
Updated: 2012-08-01
Packaged: 2017-11-11 04:28:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 24,935
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/474505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elless/pseuds/elless
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jensen has a pretty damn good life: a job as a nurse that he loves, great friends, and a perfect friends-with-benefits arrangement with Ian. He doesn’t want anything serious or complicated, so of course that’s when his plans go to shit in the form of Ian’s new roommate, Jared. He’s beautiful and sweet and everything Jensen’s not looking for. Jensen’s not sure how long he can deny his attraction, especially when Jared makes it clear the attraction is mutual.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Like a Slow Fire Burn

Jensen stood by the nurse’s station dropping off a chart when Ian walked up. He was looking particularly disheveled today, which meant he’d had a surgery earlier. He flashed Jensen a grin, dark brown eyes lit up, indicating he must’ve snagged a nap not too long ago.

“Hi,” he said, bumping his shoulder against Jensen’s.

Jensen smiled, perking up. Ian had that effect on him. Across the desk, Margarite gave him a knowing look, biting her lip to contain her smirk.

“Dr. Kavanaugh,” Jensen replied and grinned, arching an eyebrow. “What are you doing up on Orthopedics? Won’t they miss you downstairs?”

“They can get along without me for a few minutes. Needed a break from a demanding patient, so I thought I’d come bother you.”

“Lucky me.” Usually he was, since it involved him getting laid, but he was too busy today to pop into their favorite supply closet. To prove the point, Margarite smacked a stack of charts down in front of him. Jensen barely refrained from glaring at his boss. Turning to Ian with an apologetic frown, he said, “Maybe another time?”

“Sure.”

“When are you done? Want to grab a beer later?” he asked, and Ian nodded.

“I have rounds and then I’ll be done. Say in two hours?”

“Mind if I bring Chad and Padalecki?” It’d been way too long since they’d all gotten together for a beer. Chad was working overtime––Jensen wasn’t supposed to know he was saving up to buy a ring for Kenzie––and Ian always seemed especially busy lately.

“Course not. I gotta go. Later, mate.” Ian squeezed his shoulder, then hurried down the hall. Doctors never leisurely walked anywhere. It made Jensen tired just watching them sometimes.

Once Jensen got through the pile of charts and checked on a few patients, he talked to Chad, then tracked down Jeff up on labor and delivery. Jeff was on-call and couldn’t drink but decided to come anyway, and Chad nodded eagerly.

“Shit, I could use a beer and some bar peanuts. But I can’t stay late. Kenzie has something planned.”

“You are so whipped,” Jensen laughed.

“Yep,” he replied cheerfully.

Chad’s shift ended earlier than his, but he hung around for Jensen so they could walk the couple of blocks to Brady’s Leap together. It always reminded him of the bar on Cheers, more in atmosphere than looks. It was a favorite place for the hospital staff, so the owner and bartenders all knew them. It was small, only a handful of booths and tables, half a dozen stools at the bar, a pool table, and a couple dart boards squeezed between two windows high up on the wall. It was dimly lit and usually crowded with doctors, nurses, and other hospital staff, mostly looking haggard and dead on their feet. Jensen loved it.

Jeff stuck to pop, and the rest of them ended up not really drinking much either, since Chad had to get home to Kenzie and Jensen and Ian still had to drive home afterward. It was more about the company––and incredible cheese fries––for Jensen anyway. These guys were his best friends, and they could just be sitting around doing nothing special and Jensen’d be happy. Beer was always a nice addition, though.

Back when he graduated from nursing school and started at Falls Memorial, one of the premier hospitals in Northeast Ohio, he’d been unaccountably nervous. He was used to being on his own and starting new things after going to Virginia for school, but this was his first “real” job, and he wasn’t friends with anyone back home anymore.

He met Jeff on the first day. He was loud and funny and serious about his job. The next shift he met Chad, who was a study in contrasts. They both easily slotted into Jensen’s life, and he stopped worrying so much about everything. And then came Ian, and somehow––Jensen was still a little fuzzy on the details of that night––he managed to fill in a few of the places Jeff and Chad couldn’t.

“Hey.” Ian bumped his shoulder against Jensen’s and grinned. “No deep thoughts at Brady’s. You know the rules.”

Jensen smiled back, ducking his head to glance at Ian out of the corner of his eye. His nearly-black hair was as messy and tangled as always from Ian running his hands through it too much, and Jensen reached over to comb his fingers through the worst of it. Ian rolled his eyes, but Jensen didn’t stop. He knew how much Ian liked it.

“So, what had you looking all pensive?”

“Nothing. Just remembering what my life was like before you guys.”

“What, empty and boring?” Chad answered, flopping into the booth across from them.

“Pathetic and devoid of fun?” Jeff said. “Sucky and miserable?”

“Sad and lonely?” Ian added with that cheeky grin Jensen secretly loved more than he’d ever admit.

“All right, all right! I get it,” Jensen conceded, throwing his hands up, which he then turned into a smack to the back of Ian’s head. Ian just kept grinning. “My life was awful until I met all of you.”

“Damn straight.” Chad saluted him with his beer, then drained the bottle in one go. “Okay, guys. I’ve gotta get home to my girl. Try not to cry too hard at my absence.”

He and Ian both rolled their eyes and waved goodbye as Chad slid out of the booth.

“Pool? I’ll play you for the next round?” Jensen asked, raising an eyebrow.

Ian’s smile grew gleeful and downright wicked, and Jensen couldn’t believe he forgot that he never beat Ian at pool.

“You’re on, mate!” he replied happily and practically skipped over to the pool table.

Jensen groaned quietly and followed him, already knowing he’d owe Ian a beer.

After he wiped the table with Jensen, Ian played Jeff while Jensen watched, but they got stuck in a laughing fit over something random and stupid that Jeff said. They mostly missed their shots, shoulders shaking as they tried to hold in the laughter, and gave up after the second time Jeff accidentally bounced the cue ball onto the floor.

“All right, that’s it,” Jeff said and tossed down his pool cue, throwing up his hands. “I’m gonna head back to the hospital and crash for a bit. I have a 7 a.m. C-section and rounds to prep for and––”

“Blah, blah, blah. I’m so important because I’m a doctor,” Jensen interrupted with an eye roll.

“More important than you at least.” Jeff wrapped him in a half-hearted headlock as they made their way back to the table. He loved to give Jeff a hard time, but it was definitely mutual.

Jensen grabbed his coat off the back of the chair and stretched his arms over his head before shrugging into it. Ian smiled at him while he slipped into his own too-thin jacket. Jensen frowned at him a little, a look Ian easily deflected with a cheeky grin.

“Want to come over?” Ian asked, raising an eyebrow suggestively.

Jensen ignored Jeff’s smirk. He was used to it, since they never exactly tried to hide the fact that they occasionally hooked up. He was pretty sure the entire hospital knew.

“I have to go to work at 5 a.m.”

He shrugged, then stepped closer to Jensen, reaching out to snag a finger in his belt loop, knuckles brushing lightly against Jensen’s stomach in a way he knew drove Jensen mad. Ian always did fight dirty.

“You don’t have to stay all night, Jensen. Let’s be honest here, it probably won’t last long, considering how exhausted I am.” He grinned, brushing his fingers against Jensen’s hip and leaning in till his breath fanned hot over Jensen’s cheek.

Devious Irish bastard.

“All right,” Jensen said, telling himself he was agreeing because it’d been awhile since he got laid.

“Brilliant.”  He smiled, slow and sexy, and heat settled low in Jensen’s belly.

He turned back to Jeff for a quick goodbye, then hurried out of Brady’s, Ian close behind him. He followed Ian’s Honda through the dark, mostly deserted roads to Ian’s apartment. It was a quick drive; most of the staff lived within an easy 15 minutes of the hospital in case of emergencies. There were two other doctors and a handful of nurses in Ian’s building alone.

Jensen crowded close to Ian while he unlocked the door to his apartment, pressing along his back and rubbing his hands over Ian’s flat stomach. Ian elbowed him playfully and grumbled about Jensen being a terrible distraction, but he still leaned into the touch when Jensen kissed the back of his neck. He got the door open eventually and when they were finally inside, Jensen promptly tripped on a pile of shoes.

“Shh,” Ian laughed quietly. “Don’t wake Jared.”

Jensen ignored him in favor of tugging him close and sucking on his full bottom lip. Ian let out a breathy gasp, hands coming up to clutch at Jensen’s hair and opened his mouth to deepen the kiss. Jensen licked his way inside, across Ian’s teeth and against the roof of his mouth. Ian was always an enthusiastic kisser. It was how this thing between them started, with slightly drunken, heated kissing at one of Jeff’s parties. That night had ended with the most incredible blowjob of Jensen’s life, courtesy of Ian’s wet, filthy mouth.

They stood in the living room for several minutes, Ian’s back against the wall by the door, as Ian ramped Jensen’s arousal up with just his mouth and a thigh pressed tight between Jensen’s legs. Jensen kissed a path down Ian’s neck, paying particular attention to the spot below his Adam’s apple and the bumps of his collarbone.

His breath hitched and he ground out, “Shite, Jensen. Bedroom now.”

Ian’s soft Irish brogue always deepened when he was drunk or horny, and all it did was turn Jensen on even more.

They stumbled their way down the hallway to Ian’s room, hands never leaving bare skin. Once inside, he stripped Ian, then quickly shed his own clothes. Smirking over his shoulder, Ian spread out facedown on the bed. Head turned into the pillow, he closed his eyes, the long, dark smudge of his eyelashes creating shadows on his cheeks.

Jensen knelt beside him, leaning close to suck a mark into the dip at the small of his back. Ian twisted under him, making impatient and needy noises, as he licked a stripe down his ass. He worked Ian open with his mouth and his fingers until Ian was writhing urgently and swearing at him, pleas and curses and low-pitched moans of Jensen’s name.

Groping around in the nightstand one-handed, he pulled out a condom and tore open the wrapper with his teeth. He replaced his fingers with his dick, which was reaching painfully hard levels, and easily set into a rhythm, fucking Ian hard if a little sloppy. Ian didn’t seem to mind, considering the way he rutted against the mattress and rolled his hips back into Jensen’s thrusts. Ian came first, Jensen following not far behind.

When his breathing calmed down and he could move again, Jensen rolled off Ian, then tossed the condom, grinning at Ian’s mumbled complaint of lying in the wet spot. Jensen poked him until he flopped over, then threw a shirt at him to clean up. As soon as Ian dropped the shirt back onto the floor, he passed out from exhaustion and post-sex haze. Jensen pulled the covers up over them and fell asleep to the sound of Ian’s even breathing.

***

Jensen woke up several hours later, grateful he’d remembered to set the alarm on his phone earlier in the day. He crawled over Ian to get out of bed. It was still dark out, but he didn’t turn on any lights, not wanting to wake up Ian. He was still getting dressed as he went down the hall to the living room, tugging on his socks and shoes with his pants still half-unzipped and unbuttoned. He was grabbing his keys from the table by the door when a voice behind him made him jump.

“Um, hello,” someone said timidly, and Jensen would never admit how hard his heart beat at the sudden voice.

“Shit,” Jensen gasped quietly and resisted the urge to press a hand to his chest. He turned around to face Jared, Ian’s new roommate, remembering at the last second to do up his pants. He wasn’t used to Jared being around yet, since he just moved in a couple weeks ago at the beginning of the semester and it had been awhile since he spent the night there.

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“S’alright. What are you doing out here in the dark?”

“Fell asleep on the couch.” Jared shrugged, smiling sheepishly.

He wondered if Jared had been out here earlier when they got home and fought to control his blush.

Now that he looked more closely, Jared did have lines on his cheeks from the weave on the couch fabric, and his hair was sticking up in an impressive bird’s nest on one side. He’d met Jared several years ago when he first started working at Falls Memorial through Jeff but hadn’t seen him in quite awhile, close to two years maybe. At the time, he was a baby-faced recent college graduate. Jensen hadn’t paid much attention to him––the thing with Ian had just started, and he was more interested in whether or not he’d get laid that night. But now he couldn’t help noticing how much Jared had grown up. Or how _well_ he’d grown up.

He was taller, more muscular, though still lanky. His shoulders had broadened and were stretching the fabric of his long-sleeved t-shirt in a way that Jensen definitely shouldn’t notice. There was a family resemblance to Jeff, but Jeff was taller, skinnier, and not as well muscled. Jared’s face had filled out, lost some of the sharp angles. He looked more like a man now instead of the kid Jensen remembered. He did a quick calculation and figured out Jared was around 24. Still young, so young, and Jensen really needed to stop staring at the hint of dimples he could see dipping in Jared’s cheeks and go to work.

“So, uh, I’ve gotta go, but I’ll see you around?” Jensen said, edging toward the door.

“Oh, yeah. I’ll try not to scare you next time you’re sneaking out of Ian’s room,” Jared replied, then blushed bright red. Jensen could see it even in the dark.

Laughing awkwardly, Jensen reached for the doorknob. “Right.”

“Have a good day,” Jared told him, ducking his head shyly.

Jensen tossed him a quick goodbye and fled the apartment, mentally face-palming. What a great impression to make on Ian’s new roommate. 

***

Jensen lingered in the doorway, arms crossed tightly over his chest for warmth and face tilted up to the sky, watching as the fat snowflakes lazily fell. It’d be pretty if it weren’t so fucking cold outside. The moon and stars were out, adding to the wan glow of the lone streetlight in this back parking lot. The snowflakes seemed to glitter as they fell, turning the handful of cars out there into sparkling, misshapen lumps.

It’d been coming down for over five hours now, causing road accidents all over the area and flooding their ER. They’d pulled a couple nurses from Jensen’s floor to help cope with the backlog of patients, which left him and the others scrambling to deal with the sudden deficit. This was his first break in he didn’t want to think about how long, but he couldn’t go far in case something happened, so he simply hovered in the doorway and watched the people crazy enough to be out in this weather slip-slide down the sidewalk.

“Shit hasn’t stopped, huh?” Chad grumbled, coming up beside him.

“Nope,” Jensen answered bitterly. Looked like he might be sleeping at the hospital tonight. There was no way he could drive home in this mess. Luckily they had beds just for situations like this. They weren’t necessarily the most comfortable, but they did the job when you were too tired to drive home or needed to be back in a short time.

“Two days ago it was 60 degrees out,” he complained, pouting.

Jensen smirked. “Welcome to Ohio.” 

“Lived here my whole life. Still sucks.”

“Hmm.” Jensen shrugged. He’d missed Ohio when he was away at college, but he certainly hadn’t missed the weather. There was something about the snow and cold here that was different to other places.

“What are we staring at, boys?” Margarite asked, suddenly popping up behind them. Jensen jumped, and Chad swore, pressing a hand to his chest.

“Jesus, woman! Don’t do that!” Chad exclaimed, and Margarite laughed at him.

“Sorry!” She hardly sounded sorry, with the barely held back giggles about to burst free. “But, really, what’s out here?”

“Snow and more snow,” Jensen replied glumly.

Margarite made a disgruntled noise and blew her bangs out of her eyes. Jensen didn’t know why he did it––maybe because it’d been a long, tiring day or because he loved to hear Chad sputter angrily and to see Margarite’s bitch face. Whatever the reason, he found himself bending down and gathering snow into his hands before he even thought it through. He packed it into a loose ball and smashed it into Chad’s chest, then immediately dropped down for more to do the same with Margarite while Chad was still cursing. Margarite’s eyes widened a second before the snow broke against her chest, and Jensen couldn’t help laughing gleefully at her surprised expression.

“Son of a bitch!” she shouted, wiping snow off with the back of her hand.

“You’re going down, Ackles!” Chad growled and lunged for him.

Laughing, Jensen danced away from him, out toward the parking lot, and scooped up a double handful of snow.

“Bring it,” he taunted and threw one of his snowballs. It splatted against Chad’s neck, which earned him a spectacular glare.

There was a long moment of peace and then an all-out battle broke out. It started with Chad and Margarite against him but quickly devolved into everyone for themselves. Jensen slid over the increasingly dirty snow, barely dodging a double-barreled assault from Margarite, then promptly got hit from behind by one of the nurses from ICU. The three of them had made so much noise that it attracted the attention of anyone passing by the door, and it didn’t take long for other people to join the fray––doctors, nurses, even some people from admin and billing.

Shrieks and laughter filled the air, sounding remarkably like a school playground. Chad would fervently deny it, but Jensen had caught him honest-to-god giggling. And also letting out a ridiculous battle cry before throwing every snowball. It was loud and complete chaos, but only in the best way.

Jensen’s hands and face were red from the cold and snow, he was pretty much soaking wet from head to toe, he was losing feeling in his hands and feet, and he hadn’t had this much fun in a long time.

They were forced to call a truce at the news of several people from a two-car pileup arriving in the ER, causing a handful of the combatants to scatter back inside. Jensen followed Chad and Margarite back upstairs, the icy cold hitting him now that he was back in the heated building. His teeth chattered, his hands shaking slightly.

“Shit, man, even my underwear is wet,” Chad complained, and the couple in the elevator with them gave them strange looks.

“S’why I always have extra clothes with me,” Jensen said, and Chad huffed at him.

The couple got off on the floor below theirs, sending them another strange look before exiting. Jensen guessed they did look a bit odd––scrubs soaking wet, skin burned red from the cold. Margarite’s hair was a bedraggled mess, coming out of the ponytail and flopping heavily into her face. People must’ve thought they were crazy.

When they got off the elevator, Jensen almost ran right into Ian.

“Hey,” Jensen said, smiling.

“What in the bloody hell happened to you?” Ian asked, raking his eyes over Jensen from head to toe, and that gaze did more to heat Jensen up than anything else could.

“Snowball fight,” Chad replied, then hurried down the hall with Margarite toward their locker rooms.

Ian arched an eyebrow in disbelief. “Well, I’m sorry I missed that.”

“It was awesome!” Jensen told him.

“Looks like it.” Ian fingered the wet fabric over Jensen’s chest, and the heat of his skin made Jensen shiver more than being out in the snow had.

“But now I’m freezing. Wanna help warm me up?” He waggled his eyebrows and gave Ian his best come-hither smile.

“Sorry, mate. Wish I could, but I have an emergency double bypass I need to get to. Rain check, though? I’ll probably need it after this surgery.”

“Sure. Just come find me or give me a call. I’ll be here all night. I’m not even attempting to drive home.”

“All right. You look good in wet scrubs, by the way,” Ian told him, leering for a moment before walking away.

Jensen flushed a little and glanced down to check out the way his scrubs were clinging to him everywhere. Not exactly appropriate hospital attire. It was definitely time to change.

***

Jensen was on his way to the cafeteria for a cup of much-needed coffee when Ian hurried down the hall toward him, then yanked him into their favorite supply closet. Jensen banged his elbow on a shelf full of gauze packets, but even the momentary pain couldn’t stop the zing of pleasure from racing down his body. It was dark, of course, only a thin strip of light leaking around the cracks of the door, but he didn’t need any light to know Ian had that predatory look in his dark eyes. Jensen grinned, then sucked in a breath as Ian dropped to his knees, graceful and fluid as ever.

“Been thinking about this all day,” Ian murmured, sliding his hands up Jensen’s legs to hook under the waistband of his scrubs.

“Yeah?” he replied, voice a little rough. He could feel Ian’s smirk against his hip a second before he pressed his mouth there, warm and wet.

“Yeah.” He sat back long enough to tug Jensen’s scrubs and boxer briefs down and licked his lips in a way that made Jensen’s half-interested dick snap to full attention.

Not for the first time, Jensen was grateful his job required clothes so easy to remove.

Ian nosed at his hipbone for a moment but didn’t waste much time. They never did when it was like this. Patients were always waiting, or other doctors or nurses needed them to do something, and they’d learned how to get each other off quickly.

After a last bite to the thin skin over his hip, Ian sucked him down in one go. Bucking his hips, Jensen bit his lip to keep his moan in. It was hopeless really. He could never stay quiet with the wet, tight heat of Ian’s mouth around him. He gripped the metal shelf behind him while Ian worked his dick, his head falling back when he felt the tip hit the back of Ian’s throat.

Ian had the filthiest mouth of anyone he’d ever met, whether he was swearing at something on TV or growling dirty things in Jensen’s ear. It was odd, considering how innocent and fresh-faced Ian looked, like he shouldn’t be capable of saying such things. It was what caught Jensen’s attention at first, hearing Ian yell, “Give me my fucking Dr. Pepper, you bloody bastard!” at the vending machine on the second floor. It could also turn Jensen on like nothing else, which at times proved embarrassing and inconvenient while in public. It led them to several hasty visits to bathrooms or any other private place.

And it wasn’t just about what he said but also what he could do with that mouth––the full, bitable bottom lip and quick, agile tongue. Jensen had had plenty of blowjobs in his life, but no one compared to Ian. He did things with his tongue and teeth that Jensen couldn’t even _describe_. He joked that if cocksucking were an Olympic sport, Ian would definitely take home the gold.

Which he was doing a very thorough job of demonstrating right now.  He pulled off so his lips caught on the head and hummed, flattening his tongue along the underside. Jensen pried his hands off the shelf and carded them through Ian’s soft hair. He was getting close, thigh muscles trembling with it and when Ian screwed his lips back down his shaft and swallowed, Jensen came with a shout he muffled against his fist.

Ian licked him clean, then climbed back to his feet and kissed Jensen, sloppy and wet and filthy. After a minute, Jensen slid down Ian’s body to the floor and hitched his scrubs and boxers down just enough to free his dick, thick and hard, already leaking at the tip. He blew him fast, not with as much skill as Ian possessed, but he still came faster than Jensen, and he jacked him through the aftershocks with a smug smile curling his mouth around Ian’s dick.

“Jesus, that was good,” Ian laughed as Jensen stood up and attempted to straighten his clothes. “I really needed that.”

“Me too.” Jensen gave up on his own clothes and reached out to flatten Ian’s hair, which was sticking up everywhere from his hands. It was a hopeless case, though. Ian grinned at him, slow and lazy. And obviously fucked out. Jensen sighed. It wasn’t like everyone didn’t already know, but he liked to be somewhat discreet about it.

It was a little a cliché, a nurse fucking the hot, brilliant, young heart surgeon, and sometimes he felt like he was in a bad episode of Grey’s Anatomy.

“When do you get off?” Jensen asked over his shoulder, moving toward the door.

“About two minutes ago,” Ian said with a lewd smile, but Jensen simply rolled his eyes. “Three more hours, if I’m lucky. You?”

“I still have half my shift, so about seven hours. Dinner tomorrow?”

“Can we make it breakfast the day after? I have the hell shift tomorrow and I’ll need sustenance at the end of it.”

From his, once again dirty, expression, Jensen knew he wasn’t just talking about eggs and bacon and despite just receiving one hell of a blowjob, Jensen’s dick twitched in anticipation. “Sure.” He pushed open the door, not bothering to check if the hallway was empty. It wouldn’t matter anyway.

“Later, mate,” Ian called as he hurried off in the opposite direction.

***

Jensen was lounging on the couch nursing a beer when he got a text from Ian.

_Had a crap day. :(_ _Come make me feel better?_

Jensen set his beer down and wiped his hands on his thighs before texting back. _Be there in 15._

_You’re the best. :)_ __

Jensen barely made it in the door before Ian was on him, fingers knotted in Jensen’s hair and mouth on his in a fierce kiss. Jensen simultaneously hated and loved when Ian got like this. It meant something bad had happened, but it was also really hot. They tripped and stumbled down the hall toward the bedroom, undressing as they went, then fell on the bed.

Later, Ian lay with his head pillowed on Jensen’s stomach while Jensen scrubbed a hand through Ian’s messy hair. This kind of mood was the only time Ian put up with any kind of after sex cuddling. He usually ducked or rolled away if Jensen tried to touch him like this.

“So, you want to talk about it?” he asked, rubbing a thumb against Ian’s temple. Ian grimaced and turned his head to bury his face against Jensen’s stomach.

“I lost a patient today,” he murmured, sounding tired and defeated. His breath tickled across Jensen’s skin.

“Oh, Ian. I’m sorry.”

“He was young, barely in his 40’s. Has two little kids at home. I know it’s awful no matter what, but it seems worse when there are children involved.”

“It’s a terrible situation, but I’m sure you did your best.”

Ian snorted, but it sounded anything but amused. “You know, as doctors we’re taught we’re basically as powerful as God. And then you lose someone, someone you tried so hard to save, and it smacks you in the face that, no, you _are_ fallible and people die, no matter what you do or how good a surgeon you are.”

“Ian…” Jensen trailed off, because there really wasn’t anything to say that’d take the hurt away. He knew how Ian felt, having gone through it himself many times over the years. It got more bearable but still hurt. The day Jensen became numb to it all was the day he knew he should quit being a nurse.

Ian sighed and rolled over onto his back, one arm flung out over the mattress and the other pressed over his eyes. Jensen squeezed his shoulder, then ran his palm up to cup his neck.

“You gonna be okay?” Jensen asked softly.

“Yeah. Just gonna be sucky for awhile.”

“I know. And I’m sorry, for what it’s worth.”

“Thanks.” Ian flipped over suddenly, landing half on top of Jensen, chin digging into the meat of Jensen’s thigh. “You know what would make me feel better?”

Jensen’s dick stirred a little. Ian’s mouth was awfully close, after all. “It’s probably not what I’m thinking about, is it?”

“Maybe later.” He smirked, then licked his lips. The bastard.

“What do you want then?”

“Ice cream.”

“It’s January. In Ohio. There’s snow on the ground.”

“And?”

Ian stared up at him with that wide-eyed, adorable, _aren’t I the cutest thing you’ve ever seen_ look, and Jensen groaned out loud. One of these days, he was going to learn how to resist that look, but hurting Ian was like kicking a puppy. He just couldn’t bring himself to do it.

“Fine,” Jensen conceded as he rolled off the bed and started gathering his clothes. “But you’re paying me back with a blowjob when I get back.”

He grinned. “You’re the best, Ackles.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah.”

Jensen hit him in the face with an expertly aimed balled-up sock and smiled at Ian’s short bark of laughter.

When he got back from the store, Jared was at the kitchen table, books spread out everywhere and a pink highlighter clenched between his teeth. He still wasn’t that used to seeing Jared at Ian’s. He’d moved in at Jeff’s suggestion to be close to campus. He’d recently moved back into the area after going to University of Dayton and then teaching in Cincinnati for two years. He wasn’t at home much, at least not at the times Jensen was there, and mostly stayed in his room. Jared was a lot less messy than Ian, however, so the major difference was actually having clean dishes and swept floors.

“Hey,” Jensen said, which Jared echoed back, only muffled through the highlighter. “Ian and I are having Chunky Monkey if you want to join us.” Jensen hefted the grocery bag unnecessarily. There was something about Jared that always unsettled him, left him feeling wrong-footed and awkward.

“Thanks,” Jared answered, spitting out the highlighter. “But I have a paper to finish by 7 a.m., and the damn thing is kicking my ass.”

“I thought you had a degree in English.”

“I do. Doesn’t mean I can just whip out a paper about the effect of steroids on various muscle groups and the brain.”

“Point.”

He thought it was amazing that Jared realized teaching didn’t work for him and went back to school. It must be such a switch to go from an English degree to joining the physical therapy program, but he knew Jared was smart and capable. Jeff had bragged for weeks when Jared first graduated from college summa cum laude. Still, medicine required an analytical brain of a different kind from teaching, and it must be difficult.

Reaching to the right to grab a couple spoons out of the drawer, he turned back to Jared. “Well, good luck. There’ll be extra ice cream if you need a break later.”

“Cool. Thanks.” Jared smiled at him shyly, then went back to his book, highlighter once more clamped between his teeth.

Jensen gathered the ice cream and spoons and headed back to Ian’s room.

***

Jensen crawled out of bed carefully, but it didn’t matter much; Ian was dead to the world. He still padded quietly out of the room and down the hall to the kitchen. Which turned out to be slightly pointless, since Jared was awake and sitting at the kitchen table. He frowned at a large textbook in front of him, eyebrows scrunched together in concentration.

“Hey,” Jensen said softly and got a grunt in response.

Smiling to himself, he crossed to the fridge and poured a glass of water from the Brita pitcher, then leaned back against the sink and watched Jared mutter to himself. Memorizing vocab terms, from what he could tell. Every time he saw Jared, he seemed to be studying. Jensen wondered if he ever got any sleep and had to repress the urge to go into nurse-mode and outline all the ways that sleep-deprivation fucked with your body. In his experience, most people didn’t appreciate unsolicited medical advice unless it was along the lines of “No, that strange lump isn’t anything bad. Feel free to keep ignoring it.”

Jensen finished his water and set the glass by the sink. Jared continued to mumble, an occasional swear word breaking free. Jensen smiled to himself, glad his own days of studying were long over. Finally, Jared sighed disgustedly and tossed down his pen.

“What are you studying? Anything I could help with?” Jensen asked, sliding into the chair across from him.

“Anatomy, specifically the muscles in the arm and how they interconnect. It’s kicking my ass for some reason. I know how they work together, but I don’t know _how_ they work together, if that makes sense.”

“No, it does.” Anatomy had been one of Jensen’s favorite classes, but it was also tough as hell.

“It’s just––” He paused to rake a hand back through his hair. He’d pushed the sleeves of his shirt up, exposing his forearms. Jensen’s gaze snagged there for some reason, on the dark hair and muscles as Jared dropped his arm back onto the table. “It’s different reading about it in this book and picturing it in my head than actually seeing it in action.”

“Would a living model help?”

“I tried. It’s difficult to see everything on myself, even in a mirror.”

Jensen bit the inside of his cheek to stop himself from imagining Jared flexing in the bathroom mirror, possibly still naked from a shower.

“No, I meant me,” he offered, half-regretting it already. “It’s been a long time since I had anatomy, but you can use my arm, if you think it’ll help.”

“Really? That would be awesome! Thanks!”

As Jared flashed him a grateful grin, he felt his heart thump hard against his chest.

Fifteen minutes later, Jensen was starting to believe he should’ve thought this through a little more. Jared had pulled his chair close. Jensen could feel the heat of his body, the ghost of his breath causing the hairs on his arm to stand on end. Jared pushed his thumbs gently into various points on Jensen’s arm, head ducked low so Jensen could see the graceful bend of his neck, hair curling softly at his nape. It was strangely intimate, with only the kitchen light on and neither of them talking, except when Jared murmured the name of a particular muscular group. Jensen’s breath seemed harsh and loud in the silence, but it was probably just his imagination. He hoped so anyway.

Jared’s large, warm hands slowly skated up his bare arm, fingertips resting just under the edge of his sleeve, curled slightly around his bicep. The hair on Jensen’s arm stood on end, and he shifted in his seat, suddenly and stupidly turned on by that simple touch.

Jared’s touch was sure, firm in all the right places but still gentle. He’d be a good physical therapist someday, Jensen thought. It also made him think of what else Jared’s hands were capable of.

“Can you flex for me?” he asked suddenly, and Jensen startled a bit.

Swallowing, he forced a grin and joked, “What, like a bodybuilder?”

Jared’s smile was slow, the corners of that sweet mouth barely curved upward. “No, tighten the muscle, then slowly relax it. I’m gonna move your arm some to get a feel for your range of motion.”

“Sure.”

Jared glanced up at him, then quickly dropped his eyes back to Jensen’s arm.

Why did Jensen suddenly feel completely naked, sitting there in a t-shirt and a thin pair of Ian’s sleep pants?

Jared scooted even closer, their chairs bumping, and Jensen barely stopped himself from moving back. Jared seemed intent on his task, concentrating on manipulating Jensen’s arm into various positions, but his cheeks and the tips of his ears were bright red and he kept sneaking glances of Jensen from under his dark lashes, leading him to surmise that Jared felt the awkward intimacy as much as he did. It was ridiculous. They were grown men, and Jared was treating him very clinically––no light caresses or lingering touches, much as Jensen secretly wished it. There was no reason for this reaction, for Jensen to want to lean forward and catch Jared’s amazing mouth in a kiss, slow and thorough.

When Jared finally sat back and said, “I think I’ve got it now. Thanks,” Jensen nearly fled the kitchen in relief. Instead, he smiled and replied, “Cool. Glad I could help.”

“It helped a lot. Thank you.”

“Anytime,” he said automatically, then stood up and hurried out of the kitchen before Jared could say anything else.

Back in bed again, Ian’s soft and uncomplicated presence soothed Jensen enough for him to slip back to sleep, though it took awhile.

***

Jensen stood at the desk finishing a chart. It was only a few hours into a 12-hour shift–– if he was lucky––and he’d already been yelled at by two family members and thrown up on once, which necessitated a fresh pair of scrubs. There was a very good reason he kept a few extra sets of scrubs in his locker.

Jensen handed over the chart but didn’t move, enjoying the brief respite from cranky patients and bodily fluids. He heard familiar shuffling footsteps a minute before Ian stopped beside him and leaned his forehead against the back of Jensen’s shoulder. Jensen glanced back at him and winced in sympathy. He looked exhausted, pale with dark circles smudging his eyes, hair sticking up everywhere from restless fingers. He had his eyes closed and rested most of his weight on Jensen.

“You look like shit,” Jensen told him instead of cooing and trying to feed him. Ian had this annoying habit of turning him into a mother hen, but he seemed to have that effect on everyone.

“I feel like shite,” he answered, voice scratchy and raw. He shifted closer to Jensen, and he surreptitiously laid a hand on Ian’s side.

“How long have you been on?”

“Yesterday sometime. Feels like a week.”

“You look absolutely exhausted.”

“Yeah.”

“When do you get off?”

“If I weren’t so shattered, I’d turn that into a come on, but I can’t even _think_ about getting it up right now.”

Jensen laughed, then moved to the side a little to better see Ian. “You gonna be okay? How much longer do you have?”

“I’ll be fine. I just have rounds and then I’m going home to sleep for a year.”

“Make sure you _do_ sleep.”

“Yes, mum.” He smirked, but it lost its impact when his eyes were still closed and he couldn’t stand upright.

“I take it you’re skipping Jeff’s thing tonight?” He opened his eyes to stare blankly at Jensen. “The birthday party he’s throwing for himself?”

“Oh. Yeah. Can you tell him I’m sorry? There’s no way I’m staying coherent enough for that.”

“Sure. Want to meet up later this weekend?”

He nodded, then finally pushed himself up straight and away from Jensen. “Gimme a call on Sunday. I might be awake by then.”

Laughing, Jensen shook his head as he watched Ian slowly walk away. After seeing how beat Ian was, Jensen didn’t feel as bad about his own day.

“Mr. Austin needs blood drawn again,” Margarite told him, grinning evilly.

So much for the break.

Jensen glared at Margarite. “Do I have to?” he whined, and she laughed at him.

“I’m going on break, and he asked for you specifically since you were so wonderful with him last time.”

Sighing in defeat, Jensen repeated to himself that he loved his job. “All right. Give me his chart.”

Margarite handed it over with a too-bright smile. On the front, standing out clearly in red ink, were the letters HNCLABWBD, which was their code for _hates needles, cries like a baby when blood drawn_. He will definitely need a night out after dealing with Mr. Austin.

***

When he finished his shift, he stopped at home before Jeff’s party for a quick shower and to change out of his scrubs, then picked up Chad. He didn’t mind being the designated driver and after the long, trying day he’d suffered, alcohol was probably a bad idea.

“So how late is Kenzie letting you stay out tonight?” he teased as Chad climbed into his truck.

Chad glared. “Haha. Funny,” he groused. “I’m not on _that_ short of a leash.”

Snorting, Jensen ignored Chad’s increased glare and put the truck in drive. Teasing Chad about Kenzie was one of Jensen’s favorite pastimes, but truthfully he was a little jealous of their relationship––how close they were and comfortable with each other, even how annoyingly adorable they always were. He hoped to find that himself someday. Just not anytime soon. He liked where his life was right now.

Brady’s Leap was busy, of course, but even more so with Jeff’s friends crowding the place. Chad immediately went to the bar while Jensen searched for Jeff. He found him by the pool tables, laughing at nothing and obviously enjoying the free birthday booze everyone was buying him. He gave Jensen a big hug and slurred, “Welcome to my party, man.”

Jensen grinned. “Thanks, drunky. Having fun, I see?”

“Yep.” He glanced around, then turned sad eyes on Jensen. Dude was seriously lit. “Chad and Ian aren’t with you?”

“Chad’s at the bar, but Ian’s home sleeping, hopefully. He was on for something like 30 hours, I think.”

Jeff grimaced in sympathy, no doubt thanking the hospital gods he wasn’t on-call tonight and could actually celebrate his birthday. Just then, Chad sidled up to them, handing over Jensen’s drink––hopefully straight Coke and not laced with Jack or something––and clapping Jeff on the back.

They talked about work for a while, complaining about patients, Jeff recounting a story about an amazing set of triplets that survived their birth despite rather dubious odds. It was things like this that made Jensen want to be a nurse. It reminded him why all the crap––sometimes literally––was worth it.

They eventually separated. Jeff drifted off to greet more guests, Chad went to the bar to get another beer, and Jensen got sucked into a heated pool game with a couple ER doctors and the nurse admin from the second floor. All of who soundly kicked his ass.

After, Jensen wandered off to lick his wounds and drink the one beer he allowed himself, eventually settling at an empty table near the back where he could watch the whole room and laugh at some of the shit going on.

After awhile, someone collapsed heavily into the chair opposite him, and he glanced over to see Jared. He looked a little rumpled, shirtsleeves rolled up haphazardly to reveal his forearms, the top three buttons undone at his throat. His cheeks were flushed, either from the heat of the room or from the alcohol, and sweat darkened the hair at his temples.

Jensen kind of wanted to lick the uneven stubble lining his jaw. Instead he sipped his drink and focused on the rings stained into the old wood of the table. Brady’s Leap was at least 100 years old and from the looks of things, this table was original to the place.

Jared sprawled back in his chair, impossibly long legs kicked out and straining at the tight denim of his jeans. Jensen was normally an eyes and smile kind of guy (and personality truthfully, which was why he didn’t do one-night stands and why the thing with Ian worked so well), but there was something about Jared’s incredible muscles that always drew him in. Not that he didn’t have amazing eyes and a killer smile. Dimples were involved, after all. And not for the first time, he reminded himself that he shouldn’t look at Ian’s roommate like that.

“Having a good time?” he asked lamely.

“Yeah.” Jared shifted forward to lean his elbows on the table and rested his chin in his hands. Jensen tried to ignore how it made the cotton of his shirt stretch tight across his broad shoulders. “Jeff’s friends are pretty awesome.”

“I like to think we are,” he said and waggled his eyebrows, then wanted to bang his head on the table.

Jared grinned, though, flashing his dimples. “At least he’s willing to hang out with me in public now. He used to pretend I was a stranger or refuse to play with me when we were younger.”

“My older brother was the same way. He was kind of a dick when he was a teenager.”

Jared laughed, throwing his head back and exposing the long line of his throat. Sweat pooled in the dip at the base, and it took all Jensen’s willpower not to grab him by the collar and press his lips there. Shaking his head, he downed the rest of his beer and belatedly realized Jared was talking again.

“No, Jeff’s a good guy, really. He’s always looking out for me and our little sister.”

Jensen nodded absently, suddenly feeling even worse about staring at Jared’s mouth. He remembered a conversation he had with Jeff a couple years ago where Jeff outlined all the violent things he’d do to anyone that hurt his siblings. He also mentioned that one of his worst nightmares was having any of his friends date Jared or Megan. Shit.

Jared babbled about school for a while and then about Jeff and what it was like growing up with such an overachieving brother. Jensen could certainly sympathize with that, as Josh was always better at sports and school and whatever else he tried. Mostly, Jensen just listened, since Jared seemed perfectly at ease carrying most of the conversion. It was the most Jared had ever said to him, no doubt aided by the alcohol, and he was stupidly fascinated by everything Jared told him.

He was enjoying it too much, though, and was relieved when Chad showed up out of the blue and shoved his way into the chair beside Jensen.

“I’m taking off,” he announced, slipping an arm across Jensen’s shoulders. “Going home to my girl. Didn’t want you to worry about me, like I know you would.”

Jensen leaned away from Chad’s beer breath. “How? I drove, remember?”

Chad waved a hand in the vague direction of the door. “Cab. Catch you guys later.” He pushed himself out of the chair and grinned. “I’m gonna go have sex.”

“You’re gonna pass out before you get your pants off.”

“Psht,” Chad dismissed easily, then waved over his shoulder as he walked away.

“He’s a strange guy,” Jared said once Chad was out of earshot.

“Yeah, but a good one.”

Before Jared could reply, a couple of Jensen’s fellow nurses barreled over and tugged him out of his seat.

“C’mere, dude. We need your opinion on post-op drug protocols,” one of them insisted, dragging him across the room.

Jensen glanced back at Jared helplessly, but Jared simply shrugged and turned back to his beer.

After an hour or so, Jensen finally escaped and headed toward the bar.

“Hey,” Jeff said, appearing at his side and bumping his shoulder against Jensen’s. “Can you do me a favor?” He wasn’t slurring as much, but his eyes were extremely bloodshot and he was listing to the side a bit.

“As long as it doesn’t involve any bodily fluids, sure.” Jensen straightened up from where he was leaning on his elbows on the bar and stretched his arms over his head. He hadn’t drunk more than that one beer so he’d be sober enough to get home, but he was exhausted and had to work a 14-hour shift tomorrow.

“Can you drive Jared home? He’s completely plastered, and I don’t trust him to get home on his own.”

“Always the big brother, huh?” he replied, thinking of what Jared had said earlier. Jeff shrugged wryly, grinning. A part of Jensen was yelling _bad idea! bad idea!_ at him but instead of telling Jeff no, he said, “I can take him. I was about to head out and I go in that direction anyway.”

Jeff clapped him on the back, then left his arm slung over Jensen’s shoulders. “Thanks, man.”

“No problem. Where is he?” Maybe he already got a ride from someone else or a taxi, and Jensen wouldn’t be stuck alone in his truck with him, even if it was a short trip.

“I’ll help you look for him.”

They found him a few minutes later, slumped in a back booth half asleep, head pillowed on his arms on the table. Jeff shook his shoulder, and Jared startled and sat up. He had a crease line going diagonally across one cheek, his hair was sweaty and sticking up on one side, and he still looked so hot that Jensen felt a physical jolt of arousal go through him.

Yeah, this was a seriously bad idea.

“Hey, man. Jensen’s gonna take you home, so on your feet, okay?”

Jared stared up at them with a goofy grin that Jeff rolled his eyes at before reaching out to haul Jared to his feet. Jared came easily enough and seemed to be mostly steady, only swaying slightly to the left before righting himself.

“M’fine, Jeff,” he insisted, shrugging off his brother’s supporting hands. Jeff wasn’t much steadier himself, so Jensen wasn’t sure how helpful Jeff was anyway.

“I know you are, but humor me. Jensen’s gonna take you home.”

Jared looked over at him and his bloodshot, drunken gaze cleared for a moment, and the heat of it made Jensen shiver.

“All right,” Jared said.

Turning toward Jeff, Jensen wrapped him up in a hug. “Happy birthday, man. Don’t have too much fun without us.”

Jeff laughed. “Thanks. I’ll try to be good.”

Jensen snorted, because being good wasn’t exactly Jeff’s favorite thing to do. “See ya later.”

He nudged Jared to get him going, then had to grab a fistful of Jared’s shirt when he stumbled on his first step. Sliding an arm across Jared’s back, Jensen guided him outside and to the parking lot. Once they reached Jensen’s truck, Jared managed to climb in under his own steam and buckle his seatbelt after a couple tries. Jensen watched the intense look of concentration on Jared’s face, and hid a smirk behind his hand. One thing the Padalecki boys seemed to have in common was an inability to hold their liquor.

Jared stayed mostly silent on the drive, his head resting against the window and eyes closed. Jensen studied his profile at every stoplight and forced back the urge to brush his hair out of his face. He looked especially young in the shadowed light of the truck. Jensen sighed, returning his eyes to the road with difficulty.

“Hey, Jared, we’re here.”

He turned off the truck and gently shook Jared’s shoulder. Jared mumbled something incoherent, but he unbuckled the seatbelt and reached for the door handle. Jensen hurried around to that side to catch Jared if he needed help getting out. The trip seemed to’ve sobered him up a bit, however, because he had no trouble. Jensen hovered beside him the whole way to the apartment just in case.

Settling Jared on the couch, he went into the kitchen to fetch a glass of water, then pressed it into Jared’s hand. Jared stared at it dumbly for a moment until Jensen nudged it toward his mouth.

“Come on, Jared. Drink it,” he said when Jared made a face. “You’ll thank me in the morning when you’re not hung over as shit.”

“God, okay,” Jared replied, pouting, but he downed the glass.

“I want you to drink at least two more.”

Jared wrinkled his nose. “You’re worse than Jeff.”

“Yep,” Jensen agreed readily. “I’m getting you another glass. Try not to pass out.”

Three glasses of water later, Jared was slightly more sober, though he almost face-planted into the coffee table trying to bend over to untie his shoes. Sighing, Jensen knelt in front of him and worked on getting his tennis shoes off.

“You want help to your room? Jared?”

“Hmm? No. Just crash here,” Jared slurred, waving vaguely at the couch.

Jensen looked up at Jared, face shadowed in the darkness of the room, right as Jared swayed forward into Jensen’s personal space, one hand coming up to brush across Jensen’s jaw.

“Jared,” he said tightly, ignoring the spike in his pulse and how easy it would be to give in. “Don’t.”

“Wanna kiss you.”

“No. You don’t.”

He backed up a bit and held his breath until Jared huffed out a sigh and flopped back onto the couch, limbs spread out awkwardly in the way you can only achieve while drunk. Closing his eyes briefly and dropping his head back, Jensen prayed for the self-control not to give in to the pout on Jared’s perfect mouth.

“Come on, lie down.” Jensen grabbed the blanket off the back of the couch while Jared stretched out and buried his face in the cushions. He tucked it around Jared, though his feet stuck out. “Drink as much water as you can. Hopefully you won’t feel too awful tomorrow. And you’ll forget this happened,” he added quietly, but Jared was already asleep, breath evening out.

Jensen watched him for a few moments to make sure he’d be okay, then slipped out of the apartment.

It took him a long time to fall asleep that night. 

***

“Hey,” Jensen said, glancing up from his cereal to a rumpled-looking Jared as he shuffled into the kitchen. “Don’t you have class?”

Rubbing a hand over the back of his neck, Jared flushed. “Uh, yeah. I apparently slept through my alarm. Luckily it’s an okay class to miss.”

Jensen missed almost every class his first week of college, too caught up in the heady freedom of being on his own away from home. It took almost failing an exam and a not-so-gentle kick in the ass from his mom during their weekly phone call to get him into gear and actually pay attention to his studies. Based on his troubled expression, Jensen doubted this was something Jared did very often.

“Were you up late studying again?” Jensen asked.

“Ah, no. Just couldn’t sleep.”

He cut his eyes toward Jensen, then immediately looked away, ducking his head. Jensen could see twin spots of color bloom on his cheeks, and Jensen remembered abruptly that Ian and Jared’s rooms shared a wall. And Ian hadn’t exactly been quiet last night. Shit. Somehow Ian always made him forget that Jared might be home, though it probably wouldn’t matter if he did. They weren’t always discreet at the hospital either; there was no telling how many people heard them as they passed the supply closet.

He felt like he should apologize or something, maybe offer to go to his place more often instead. But Ian’s apartment was closer to the hospital and nicer, and it wasn’t like Jared ever outright complained about the, uh, noise.

Before Jensen could say anything stupid like _sorry for all the loud sex in the room right next to yours_ , Ian came into the kitchen. He didn’t look as bleary-eyed as he had last night, thanks to their go-to relaxation method, but the skin around his eyes was still bruised and pulled tight.

He slumped into the chair next to Jensen’s and whined, “Please tell me there’s coffee.”

“I was about to make some,” Jared told him, glancing over his shoulder as he got the coffee out of a cupboard and filled the pot with water.

“You’re my favorite.”

Jared snorted. “I seriously doubt that.”

He sounded bitter. Jensen wondered at that, but the next moment he was back to smiling, so Jensen let it go.

“So if the planets align correctly and there are no emergency calls from the hospital, we plan to go bowling tonight,” Ian said, taking the steaming mug Jared handed him with a happy noise and beaming grin. Rolling his eyes, Jensen stole the mug and took a large swallow. Ian pouted and snatched it back, glaring at him. “Anyway. You’re welcome to join us if you like. There’ll be beer and greasy bowling alley food, and you can make fun of all my gutter balls.”

Jensen’s stomach flipped over at the thought of hanging out with Jared, especially with Jeff _and_ Ian there. Luckily, Jared spared his nerves by saying, “Thanks, but I don’t think I can.”

“Are you sure? Well, Jeff knows the details if you change your mind.”

They all dispersed soon after that. Jared fled the kitchen for his bedroom. Ian headed toward the bathroom with a fresh cup of coffee in hand while Jensen left for the hospital.

After a long but thankfully uneventful day, Jensen pulled up outside Chad’s place.

“Why am I always giving you rides?” Jensen complained as Chad climbed into the truck. “I’m fairly certain you know how to drive.”

Chad shrugged dismissively. “Because you’re my bitch?” he answered with a smirk.

Jensen rolled his eyes and pulled out onto the street. When they got to the bowling alley, everyone else was already there. Including Jared, Jensen noticed, which he hadn’t expected. Shit. His stomach lurched, and he nearly tripped down the small set of steps leading down to the lanes. Ian was off to the side choosing a ball while Jeff and Jared put on their shoes.

“Do you…have your own bowling shoes?” Jensen asked Jeff, arching an eyebrow at Jeff’s snazzy footwear. They were red, green, and blue plaid and shouted “old man.”

“Yes, I do,” Jeff replied, puffing out his chest. “And they’re _awesome_!”

“That’s not exactly the word I’d choose.”

“More like lame,” Chad added and plopped into one of the hard plastic chairs next to Jared.

“You’re just jealous,” Jeff scoffed.

“Right. Keep telling yourself that.”

Chad and Jeff continued to bicker and after a moment’s hesitation, Jensen took the seat on the other side of Jared.

Bending down to tie his ugly, borrowed shoes, he asked Jared, “I thought you couldn’t make it?” He glanced up in time to see Jared flush slightly. It was _not_ adorable, no matter how much Jensen felt the urge to pinch his cheeks or anything else equally as stupid.

“Jeff bullied me into coming. Said I needed a night out and pretty much bodily forced me out of the apartment,” Jared explained.

He was wearing worn jeans and a long-sleeved t-shirt that hugged his chest and biceps in a way that should be illegal. Swallowing, Jensen looked away, toward the lane where Ian was preparing to bowl first. Jeff was still arguing with Chad and not paying attention to them, which meant he thankfully hadn’t seen Jensen ogling his little brother. When his gaze slid to the side, Jared was studying him intently, eyes flicking down to Jensen’s mouth before skittering away.

Shit.

Jared had never mentioned the almost-kiss after Jeff’s party, but Jensen certainly thought about it. What would’ve happened if Jensen gave in that night? Or now? If he just crawled into Jared’s lap right here and kissed him like they both obviously wanted––

Jeff’s snorting laugh snapped the moment, and Jensen scrambled to his feet with an awkward “I’ve gotta get a ball,” before escaping over to the racks of plain black bowling balls.

He chose one at random––it was probably a pound or so too heavy, but he’d deal––and returned to their lane in time for Ian to shove him forward for his turn. He knocked down a pathetic five pins with no spare, but no one else did much better so he didn’t feel too badly. It was even better when Ian bought the first round of drinks, and the alcohol relaxed him enough to forget that he was there with Ian, Jeff, _and_ Jared. All together. Shit.

By the third beer, he took everyone’s teasing at his low score with a grin and dramatic bow. After the fifth one, he and Jared spent their time between bowling giggling together over Chad’s butt-wiggling, shuffling ball throwing technique.

“Don’t knock it,” Chad said, pointing an accusing finger at each of them where they were leaning against each other and red-faced from laughing. “You both suck, and this is working for me.”

He maybe had a point, considering he was in the lead and Jensen was more concerned with how good Jared’s ass looked in his jeans than in how many pins he could knock down. Still, though.

“You look like an idiot,” Jensen told him, then ducked behind Jared when Chad exclaimed, “I’ll show you idiot!” and launched himself at Jensen.

Two games, countless beers, and plenty of Chad gloating later, Jensen found himself alone with Jared at one of the small tables scattered throughout the alley. Jeff and Ian were at the bar, Ian playing wingman for Jeff as he tried to pick up the woman behind the counter, and Chad had gone home to Kenzie an hour ago.

“I don’t know. That’s a tough call,” Jared said, rolling his mostly empty glass from hand to hand. His face was flushed from alcohol and laughter, and his hair was a complete mess, slightly darkened at the temples with sweat.

He was gorgeous, as always, but for once Jensen wasn’t thinking about how much he’d like to suck on Jared’s perfect bottom lip. Not much anyway. Somewhere along the way tonight, they’d started talking, truly talking, and he’d learned that Jared was kind of awesome and fun to hang with. Which only made things more difficult, really, but he was willing to risk it to get Jared as a friend.

“Seriously, just pick one. You’ve been thinking about this for ages,” Jensen complained, and Jared rolled his eyes.

“Fine. Since you’re bitchy when you’re impatient, Hershey bar with almonds. That’s my favorite candy bar.”

“Hershey with almonds? Seriously? Not Snickers or Almond Joy or something, ya know, _good_?”

“It’s chocolate and nuts. What’s not to love?”

“Oh, god. Kids these days. I despair of your generation,” Jensen said overdramatically, earning a snort and kick to the shins from Jared.

“I’m not that much younger than you, asshole.”

_Young enough_ , Jensen thought as Jared grinned at him, bright and happy. His stomach flipped at the sight of Jared’s dimples, and his fingers itched to trace the curve of that wide smile.

He really was so very, very fucked.

***

Jensen craned his head back over the couch to watch Ian walk in the door. Jared’s little crow of triumph reminded him he should’ve paused the game first. He did that now, shooting Jared an annoyed look, but Jared only smiled.

“Hey,” Ian said, dropping tiredly into the chair. “I didn’t think you’d still be here.”

“Jared tricked me into staying and getting my ass kicked at Madden,” Jensen replied and poked at Jared’s leg with his foot.

“He’s sneaky like that.” Ian smiled, but it was strained at the edges, pinched and drained of color and nowhere neat the carefree grin he usually had.

“How did it go?” he asked, which was always a tricky question when dealing with a delicate heart surgery.

“He made it through. I’m exhausted, though. Rain check on dinner?”

“Yeah, of course. You okay?”

Ian made a noncommittal noise and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Mm. Think I’m just gonna head to bed.”

“There’s leftover pizza from lunch if you want it,” Jared told him.

“Thanks. I think I’m just going to crash, though.”

“Don’t make me go into mom-mode,” Jared said mock-sternly. “You should eat something.”

Shaking his head dismissively, Ian pushed himself out of the chair. “Too tired to chew. But thanks.”

He disappeared down the hall with a little wave. Jensen waited a few moments before following, tossing a quick “I’ll be back” over his shoulder. Ian was stripping down to boxers and a t-shirt when Jensen reached his room.

“Hey,” he said quietly.

“Hey.” Ian climbed into bed and immediately snuggled under the covers.

“Are you really okay?”

“Yeah, just tired. Long day. Long surgery.”

Jensen sat on the side of the bed. “How was it?”

Closing his eyes, Ian scrubbed a hand over his face. “It was touch and go for awhile, but he pulled through in the end. He should make it.”

“Because he has an amazing surgeon.”

He smiled, a slightly cheeky one, though it was still strained. “Absolutely. Now get out of here so I can sleep.”

“All right. Sweet dreams,” he teased, ruffling Ian’s hair.

“Out,” he demanded and batted Jensen’s hand away.

Jensen laughed and walked back to the living room. He flopped onto the couch and picked up his controller, idly running his thumb over the keys.

“Ian okay?” Jared asked.

“Yeah. He’s mostly just tired.”

“I have no idea how he does that, the crazy long hours and being on-call, hardly getting any sleep. I’d never make it as a doctor.”

“No shit,” Jensen agreed. “There’s a reason I went to nursing school instead of becoming a doctor like my grandma strongly hinted I should.”

“Jesus, yeah. Good choice, man.”

He grunted in response, then they fell into silence until Jared nudged his knee against Jensen’s. He ignored how warm and solid Jared’s leg felt. He left it there for a beat too long, then shifted over on the couch.

“Ready to get your ass kicked again?”

He scoffed at Jared’s smirk. “Bring it on, bitch. I’m gonna own you this time.”

“Doubtful,” he said in a sing-song voice, grinning.

Considering how often he got distracted by Jared’s dimples, Jared was probably right.

***

After dispensing meds to Mr. Mills and Mrs. Cameron, Jensen ran into Jared in the hallway.

“Hey, what are you doing here?”

“Came to see Jeff and thought I’d stop and ask if you want to get lunch.”

“Sure.” Jensen ignored the usual happy thrill that accompanied Jared wanting to spend time with him. “Just give me a few minutes.”

Jared nodded, then walked with him down the hall, waiting while Jensen filled in the patient charts and dropped them off at the desk.

“Is that Jeff’s little brother?” Margarite asked, glancing down the hall to eye Jared.

“Yeah.”

“Damn, he’s grown up,” she said, her tone appreciative.

Jensen fought not to blush at the echo of his own thoughts when first seeing Jared again. Clearing his throat, he handed her the last chart. “I’m going to lunch. I’ll just be downstairs, so call if you need me.”

“Have fun!” she called, and Jensen hunched his shoulders in embarrassment.

“Mind if we go down to the cafeteria?” Jensen asked as he reached Jared. “I’m still on call and I want to stay close.”

“Of course not.”

Considering he tended to spend more time at the hospital than at home, it was lucky the cafeteria served much better food than the typical hospital. More importantly, the coffee was strong, cheap, and perfect.

Jensen grabbed his usual cobb salad and yogurt with granola, while Jared got an elaborate-looking turkey club sandwich and a heaping pile of coleslaw. Jensen suspected the double helping had a lot to do with the dimpled smile Jared flashed at the woman serving them.

They settled at a table by the window. Not that there was much of a view, but the feeble sunlight was a welcome sight. Sometimes Jensen really hated winter in Ohio.

“Your day going okay?” Jared asked as he dug into his sandwich.

Jensen watched in fascination for a minute as Jared took his sandwich apart and rearranged the toppings. “So far,” he answered finally. “No one’s thrown up on me yet, so I call that a win.”

Jared laughed, and Jensen tried not to stare too hard at his amazing mouth and perfect teeth.

“How’s school?”

“It’s good. Getting easier as I settle into the semester.”

“I keep wondering, how did you go from teaching English to physical therapy?” Jared made a face, scrunching up his nose in a way that Jensen absolutely refused to find adorable. “Sorry. You probably get that question all the time, huh?”

“Yeah, but it’s okay. It is a strange…jump in profession.”

“Just a bit.”

Jared smiled. “I still love English and books and arguing over symbolism in ancient texts. I just wasn’t cut out for teaching. No, that’s putting it mildly. I hated it.”

“Wouldn’t that be something you’d notice during student teaching?”

“You’d think, right?” He smiled again, slightly self-deprecating. “I thought I was just too nervous and too new at it. Figured I’d get used to it eventually. And then I never did. I lasted two years before I quit. Believe me, everyone is better off without me teaching.”

Jensen snorted. “Why physical therapy then?”

“When I was 14, I broke my leg doing something stupid. It was a bad break. I had to go to physical therapy for quite awhile. My PT was great. She didn’t let me get away with slacking but was also super sweet. The memory stuck with me ever since.”

“Did you have a crush on her?”

Jared laughed, blushing faintly. “No. Honestly. I’d already come out to my family and friends by then. The doctor that put my cast on, though? Totally different story.”

Jensen laughed at Jared’s unabashed grin. “Cute, huh?”

“Yep.” Jared leaned forward, leaning his elbows on the table and resting his head in his hands. “Your turn now. How’d you get into nursing?”

“Stumbled into it, really. It wasn’t my life’s ambition or anything,” he admitted. “I was always good at sciences and knew I wanted to work with people, but definitely couldn’t see myself as a doctor.”

“Not smart enough to get into med school, huh?” Jared joked, grinning bright and unrepentant.

“Ha ha.” Glaring at Jared’s smirk, he kicked Jared’s ankle. “No, it took too much time and seemed like so much work.”

“So you’re just lazy then?”

“Yeah.” He smiled briefly. “And I knew I’d never make it as a doctor. Just don’t have the right temperament. Anyway. Senior year for Career Day we had to fill out these personality and aptitude questionnaires, and nursing came up as a suggestion for me. I thought it sounded cool and like something I’d be good at, so I latched onto it. Of course, it also said I’d make a good florist, and I kill fake plants, so I’m not sure how accurate it was.”

“But you like your job, right?”

“Yeah, I love it. I can’t imagine doing anything else. It can be tough at times and frustrating, disgusting and heartbreaking. But I love building a rapport with patients and their families and knowing what I do makes a difference, that I’m helping to save people. It’s kind of a heady feeling, ya know?”

What he didn’t tell Jared was that his grandma had been in and out of the hospital when Jensen was little, until they diagnosed her cancer, and how amazing all the nurses were, to his grandma and also the entire family. No one knew about that.

“Yeah, definitely. I get that.”

They lapsed into silence that was soon broken by the buzz of Jensen’s phone. He unclipped it and flipped it open, sighing quietly at the message on the display.

“I have to get back to work,” he said apologetically. “I’ll see you around?”

“Sure. Thanks for having lunch with me.”

“No problem.”

Jared waved, smiling, and Jensen’s stomach churned at how much that smile affected him. 

***

Coming out of Ian’s room, Jensen practically ran smack into Jared. Into a damp, partially naked Jared obviously fresh out of the shower. He found himself unable to look away from Jared’s bare shoulders and chest, at the broad expanse of golden skin. His eyes followed a couple beads of water drip from the ends of his hair and inch down his neck to pool into the dip of his collarbone. He wanted to taste the water on his skin. He wanted to trace the dark trail of hair arrowing down past the waistband of his track pants with his tongue.

He wanted to run away from the incredible temptation Jared presented, but his feet were rooted to the spot.

“Jensen?” Jared said.

Jensen’s gaze snapped up to Jared’s face, where realization was slowly dawning. Jared’s eyes moved to his mouth and back up slowly. Jensen swallowed, eyes darting away guiltily to stare at the wall. He went to step around Jared, but Jared suddenly seemed to fill the entire hallway, and he couldn’t pass without brushing Jared’s arm or hip.

“Can you move, please?” he asked quietly.

“No,” Jared answered just as quietly, and Jensen frowned. “You don’t really want me to, do you?”

“Yes.” He cursed silently as his voice wavered.

“All this time, I thought I was just seeing things because I wanted it so badly, but you really were looking back at me.”

He breathed out and dropped his eyes to his feet, unable to deny it.

Suddenly, Jared was right in front of him, pinning Jensen to the wall, more with his gaze than with his body, though he was crowded close. Too close. Jensen kept his eyes on a random spot on the far wall, hoping that would distract him from Jared’s heat. It was futile, considering he was unconsciously swaying toward Jared, body already reacting to Jared’s nearness. He felt flush all over, right to the tips of his hair. Jared moved one arm up and laid his hand flat on the wall beside Jensen’s head, near enough to brush against Jensen’s jaw.

“Jensen,” he said, low and full of promise, and Jensen shivered.

“Jared, stop.” It didn’t come out as forceful as it should’ve; it was more breathless than anything else and judging by the slight smirk curling his mouth, Jared knew he didn’t mean it.

“You really don’t want me to stop, do you, Jensen?”

He opened his mouth in order to outline all the reasons they shouldn’t do this––not least of which was Ian––but Jared moved in even closer then, sliding his nose along Jensen’s jawline to the sensitive spot behind his ear. His knees shook and so did his resolve, but he still said, “We shouldn’t,” hoping Jared would back off and hoping he wouldn’t.

Jared pulled back to stare seriously at him. Doubt crept in around the edges of his expression for the first time, and he looked more like the usual man Jensen was used to. Whatever he saw on Jensen’s face, however, his hesitation disappeared, and he cupped a hand around Jensen’s hip, thumb sweeping back and forth over the bone.

“If you don’t want this, want _me_ , just say it and I’ll leave you alone.”

Jensen couldn’t say that, couldn’t say anything. Shaking his head, he rested his hand flat on Jared’s stomach, fingers spread wide over the taut plane of his abs. That seemed to be the sign Jared was waiting for, because he smiled, slow and in control, then bent down, stopping with his mouth hovering an inch away from Jensen’s. Jensen held his breath, anticipation causing all his nerve endings to stand to attention. He let everything hang for a long moment before finally closing the distance between them.

When their lips met, Jared sucked in a short breath and whimpered, and the sound went straight through Jensen. He moaned as Jared tilted his head for a better angle, thumb pressed into Jensen’s jaw. Jensen had had many first kisses over the years, including a memorable one on the senior ski trip that helped convince him he was gay, and this one with Jared ranked up there. It was messy and a little too dirty, made him feel warm all over and when Jared rocked his hips against him, it got even better.

Jensen turned away to catch his breath, and Jared immediately began sucking on his neck, biting gently right over his pulse point. Jensen buried his hands in Jared’s soft hair and held on. Jared’s dick was a hot, hard line against his hip, and Jensen couldn’t help thrusting back. Jared made a noise at the back of his throat, an almost growl, then ground out Jensen’s name before sliding his mouth back to Jensen’s. He tasted amazing, minty from the toothpaste with just a slightly bitter hint from the coffee he must’ve drunk. He licked along Jared’s bottom lip until Jared opened for him. Jared gripped his hips hard, thumbs digging in and undoubtedly leaving bruises, but Jensen didn’t care, barely registering the faint pain.

It all felt incredible, and he was quickly forgetting why he’d had objections to this only minutes before.

He was close to the edge, Jared not far behind based on his panting breaths, when his phone suddenly went off in his pocket, vibrating against his leg and causing him to jump. He dug it out with a shaking hand and read the display, unsurprised to see the hospital’s number. Turning away from Jared and attempting to calm his still-racing heart, he answered and listened to Margarite beg him to come in early. It’d mean he couldn’t stop home first like he’d planned, but he could grab scrubs at work. It also meant getting away from Jared, which he was beginning to believe was a great idea, now that the haze of arousal was no longer clouding his mind.

“I’ve gotta go,” he told Jared, avoiding his eyes and ignoring the flush still coloring his cheeks and neck.

“Right. So I’ll see you later?” He sounded shy and uncertain again, the earlier confidence hidden once more.

Jensen hesitated, then took the coward’s way out. “I really have to go,” he said and ran out the door before Jared could ask for an answer from him.

All that day, whenever he had a few minutes to himself, he thought about Jared. Not the kissing like he’d expect. No, it was the hopeful look in Jared’s amazing hazel eyes or the way he breathed Jensen’s name or how soft his skin felt. It was the little crease in his forehead he got when he concentrated or how seriously he took his classes or the way he smiled.

He wanted more than just a casual relationship with Jared, more than just sex.

Shit.

***

A knock on the door startled Jensen out of a half-doze. He wasn’t expecting anyone. At least he didn’t think he’d made plans with anybody. All the days were blurring together lately so he might be wrong. He’d spent the past few days working extra shifts and avoiding people and trying not to think about Jared. That was going horribly, as he probably should’ve predicted.

He pushed off the couch with a quiet grunt and went over to the door just as a knock sounded again.

“Hang on,” he called and opened the door, stopping in his tracks when he came face-to-face with Jared. He gaped for a long moment before shaking his head. “Jared? What are you doing here?”

“Can we talk?” he asked, shifting nervously.

“I don’t know,” Jensen hesitated, hating how much his voice wavered.

“Please?”

And Jensen was screwed, because he couldn’t say no to Jared’s anxious, pleading face. He nodded and held the door open for him, then retreated to lean against the back of the couch, needing some space between them. Thankfully Jared sensed that and stayed a few feet away. He hadn’t been alone with Jared since that day, and he wasn’t prepared for the onslaught of want he felt with Jared in front of him now. He crossed his arms tightly across his chest to keep himself in check and not reach for Jared.

They stared silently at each other for a while, Jensen waiting for Jared to begin since he was obviously gearing himself up to say something.

“Is it about Ian?” he asked eventually. “Is that why you––” Jared paused, biting his bottom lip and waving a hand like that would fill in the blanks. Jensen understood fairly well what he was implying.

“Somewhat,” he replied. “Not completely, though.”

“And?” Jared prompted when he didn’t continue.

“You’re Jeff’s little brother and so young. And I don’t want to add anything complicated to my life.” He watched Jared’s face fall for a moment, but Jared recovered quickly, shaking his head hard.

“I doubt Jeff cares who you sleep with. I know he doesn’t care who I sleep with.”

“He does, though, at least about you dating his friends.”

Jared made a frustrated noise, then dismissed Jeff’s concern with a shake of his head. “I’m not that young,” he continued, shooting down another of Jensen’s arguments. “I’m 24, legal and everything.”

He’d taken a few steps forward with each point he refuted and now he stopped right in front of Jensen, standing practically between his legs. Jensen’s breath hitched. He wanted so badly to retreat backward, but Jared had him trapped.

“And who says this has to be complicated?” Jared finished.

“I don’t think I could do simple with you,” Jensen admitted quietly.

“Jensen––” He cupped Jensen’s cheek, thumb swiping just under his eye.

“Why do you have to be so amazing?” Jensen asked him plaintively. It surprised a laugh out of Jared, and he grinned.

“Sorry. I’ll try to suck more.” Blushing, he ducked his head. “Oh, hell. You know what I mean.”

“Yeah.” He stared down at his crossed arms, trying his best to ignore the heat of Jared’s body and everything he was promising. “If we do this…” He trailed off, unable to finish the thought.

“Jensen, you want me, right?” There was a hint of Jared’s vulnerability in the question, but his body language was still loose and relaxed.

“You know I do.”

“And I want you. Why can’t we start from there and see where it goes? Complicated or simple, however it turns out.”

Jensen looked up, finally meeting Jared’s clear hazel eyes. He searched Jared’s face, gaze snagging on his lips. He remembered how it felt to have that incredible mouth on his, to have Jared’s hard body pressed against him. No matter how much he denied it, this fight was over a long time ago.

He lifted a shaky hand to Jared’s side and splayed it across his ribs. He could feel the warmth of Jared’s skin through his thin sweater, and it made him shiver. Jared took it as the invitation he’d intended and leaned forward to kiss him. It was so different this time, gentler and slower, less frantic, but it was somehow better this way. Pulling Jared closer, he deepened the kiss, sweeping his tongue into Jared’s mouth. He tasted like coffee and mint again. Perfect.

Jared kissed across Jensen’s jaw and down his throat, pressing his smile into Jensen’s skin. He could do this all night, just this, Jared wrapped around him, finally giving in to what he couldn’t admit he wanted. But then Jared trailed his hand down to cup him through his jeans, and Jensen suddenly went from 0 to 60 in the next breath.

“Jesus!” he swore, dropping his head back and bucking his hips.

Jared laughed softly, the sound reverberating through his chest. He brushed his lips over Jensen’s collarbone, then sank to his knees, glancing up at Jensen with a mischievous grin curving his mouth. Jensen’s throat went dry.

“What are you doing?” he asked dumbly, brain function having fled at Jared’s first touch.

“Starting on that _sucking more_ thing,” Jared told him with a smirk and reached for his belt.

“Oh, shit.”

Jensen tracked Jared’s movements through lowered lashes as he deftly unbuckled Jensen’s belt. He seemed to take forever undoing the zipper on his jeans, and Jensen made an impatient noise, so close to just outright begging. Jared inhaled sharply when Jensen’s dick sprang free and licked his lips, which was really fucking unfair. He whimpered as Jared leaned down and blew gently over the head of his dick.

“Fuck!”

Nerve endings on fire, Jensen clutched at Jared’s shoulders. Jared smiled smugly at him, then licked a trail down Jensen’s length and back up. Jared’s mouth was hot and wet, and Jensen found himself dangerously close to the edge already. This was so not going to last long.

Wrapping his arms loosely around Jensen, Jared cupped Jensen’s ass in his huge hands and squeezed. Jensen’s hips shot forward, but Jared only hummed, encouraging him to move more. After an awkward moment of Jensen thrusting too deep and nearly choking Jared, they fell into an easy rhythm. Jensen rocked his hips while Jared took him as deep as he could before pulling off and sucking on the head. Jensen swore, drawing in a ragged breath and digging his nails into the meat of Jared’s shoulders.

“I’m gonna,” he gasped.

“Yes,” Jared said, folding a hand around Jensen’s dick and stroking lazily. “Come for me, Jensen.” He thumbed over the head, then replaced his hand with his mouth.

Jensen lasted another couple of minutes, a lot longer than he expected, then came hard. Jared swallowed around him and licked him clean until Jensen whimpered and shifted back. Climbing to his feet, Jared hooked an arm across Jensen’s waist and kissed him. He could taste himself on Jared’s tongue, slightly bitter, but it only turned him on even more. So did the obvious hard length of Jared he was rubbing against Jensen.

With a last kiss to Jared’s generous mouth, Jensen pulled away and circled Jared’s wrist to lead him down the short hall to his bedroom. Jared stopped them partway there to press him against the wall and kiss him, slow and drugging. When Jared lifted his head with a wicked smile, Jensen felt dizzy and didn’t notice for a second that Jared had already disappeared into the bedroom. Jared was undressing when Jensen dashed into the room after him, muscles rippling as he bent down to slip his shoes and socks off. Jensen stared for a good long while, fascinated as Jared tugged off his shirt and then his pants, revealing an expanse of golden, perfect skin that he couldn’t wait to get his hands and mouth on.

“Are you gonna join me?” Jared asked, stretching out on the bed. He looked gorgeous against the navy sheets. “This won’t be as much fun if you stay on the other side of the room.”

Snapping his mouth closed, Jensen ignored the blush he could feel heating his face and advanced on the bed. “You’re so beautiful,” he said, letting his eyes roam from the top of Jared’s messy hair to his sculpted chest and arms to his flat stomach, where his erection rested, thick and long. His gaze lingered there for a while, then continued down Jared’s powerful thighs and calves and ended on his feet and strangely elegant toes.

He was perfect and hot as fuck and laid out all for Jensen.

“I like the way you look at me,” Jared told him quietly, then took himself in hand, stroking lazily.

Jensen groaned, feeling his own dick twitch, growing hard again just from seeing the slick head of Jared’s erection sliding in and out of the grip of his large hand. “Hey, now. Don’t get too far ahead of me,” he warned.

“Then get naked and get over here.” He thumbed over the head and hissed softly, and Jensen would have to remember that for later when he could take Jared in hand for himself.

He shucked his clothes, a lot faster and with far less finesse than Jared. He nearly toppled over trying to get his pants off but recovered quickly. When he was done, he stood there for a minute or two and let Jared stare. It was fair, after all, but they were both too impatient for it to last too long, so Jensen approached the bed.

Jared sat up and said, “Come here,” cupping Jensen’s hips and drawing him down when he got close enough.

He climbed onto Jared’s lap and straddled Jared’s strong thighs. He’d never been with anyone this much bigger and stronger than him. He usually went for guys more like Ian, who was lean, even if he had his own kind of strength.

Jared’s size was unexpectedly hot, especially when his large hands cupped Jensen’s ass and he maneuvered Jensen flush against him. Their dicks slid together, precome leaving wet, sticky trails, and they both moaned at the touch. 

“Yeah,” Jensen breathed, rocking his hips. “Come on, Jared.”

“Shit, Jensen,” he panted, moving his hips with Jensen.

Dropping his head, Jared nosed along Jensen’s jawline, mouth catching on Jensen’s stubble as he licked and bit gently. Jensen jerked his hips faster, harder, rubbing off against Jared. It felt incredible, more than incredible. After a few more minutes, Jared gasped and arched his back. Jared’s orgasm set his own off, and he came, breathing hard against Jared and shuddering through the aftershocks.

When they calmed down, Jared kissed him, surprisingly and overwhelmingly sweet, and Jensen realized then that there wasn’t any going back from this. There never was, not after the first time Jared kissed him.

Jensen had no idea how long they stayed like that, still wrapped around each other, but it was enough time for the sticky mess between them to cool a bit. Jensen gingerly stood up, grimacing as come slid down the crease of his thigh.

“Be right back,” he said and pressed an off-center kiss to the corner of Jared’s mouth before running down the hall for a wet cloth from the bathroom. He cleaned Jared off and then himself. “Can you––will you stay tonight?” he asked, ducking his head to avoid eye contact with Jared.

“Hey,” Jared replied, knee-walking across the small space on the bed that separated them. He cupped Jensen’s face and tilted it up for a slow kiss that would’ve made Jensen’s knees weak if he weren’t already sitting on the bed. “Of course I will,” he murmured against Jensen’s mouth.

“Okay.”

Jensen pulled on a pair of thin flannel pajama pants and a t-shirt, then dug through his dresser for something Jared could sleep in that wouldn’t be too short. His longest pair of sleep pants stopped an inch or two above Jared’s ankles, but he didn’t seem to care, since he practically tackled Jensen back onto the bed and arranged them so all their limbs were entangled. Jensen grumbled halfheartedly but didn’t fight him, even if Jared’s hair was in his face and Jared’s toes were cold. He simply snuggled down into the bed and fell asleep with Jared’s warmth surrounding him.

***

Jensen opened his eyes slowly and stretched. He still felt tired, and it took him a minute to realize it wasn’t his alarm that woke him up but Jared searching for his clothes on the other side of the room.

“Were you just gonna sneak out?” he asked, attempting a joking tone despite the disappointment churning in his stomach.

Jared jumped and dropped his shirt, glancing at Jensen guiltily before focusing on his feet.

“I have class,” he explained, coming over to sit on the bed near Jensen. “I was going to leave a note.”

“Mm,” Jensen replied vaguely.

He was less interested in Jared’s words and more distracted by a close, mostly naked Jared. He was only wearing boxers, and Jensen couldn’t help reaching out to touch all that bare golden skin. He skimmed a hand from Jared’s knee up his thigh, under the edge of his boxers to lightly brush over his dick. It twitched against Jensen’s fingers, and Jared gasped and groaned, biting his lip.

“I really need to get to class. We have an exam coming up and my professor has an attendance policy, plus I have to stop at home to change and get my books and stuff, and I’m already running late because you were all warm and snuggly and I didn’t want to get up, but I really do need to go,” Jared babbled while Jensen gaped at him a bit.

“Breathe, Jared,” he said and gently cupped Jared’s face, kissing him once on the mouth.

“Sorry.” Jared closed his eyes and gave him a slightly wobbly smile. “I didn’t exactly think through my plan last night beyond ‘show up at Jensen’s’ so I’m nervous about you and all this.” He waved a hand, then dropped it heavily into his lap.

“Me too,” Jensen admitted, which seemed to relax Jared. His shoulders straightened, and his eyes didn’t look so pinched. “It’s been a long time since I had a boyfriend.”

“Boyfriend?” Jared blurted, eyes widening and mouth falling open.

“Um, yes? If that’s––if that’s something you want?” He’d assumed, after their talk and what happened, but maybe he was wrong. He was such an idiot.

“No! I do! I do want that.”

Jensen let out a relieved breath, then matched Jared’s bright, goofy grin with one of his own.

Combing his fingers into Jared’s dark, messy hair, Jensen tugged him down into a kiss. It started easy but quickly grew hungry, Jensen lying back on the bed and pulling Jared with him. It went on for a few amazing minutes until Jared turned his head away with a groan and sat up.

“I really need to go.”

“All right.” Jensen sighed and flopped back against the pillows.

“Believe me, I’d stay if I could. I’d love to stay in bed with you all day but––”

“School is important, I know,” he said, and Jared shrugged helplessly. “Come back later? By some miracle, I have the day off, so I’ll be here whenever you get done.”

“I have to meet people for a group project after. It won’t be till around 7.”

“No problem. I’ll be here. Now go, before I tackle you back to the bed.”

Jensen watched from the bed as Jared got dressed, pouting grumpily. He’d much prefer peeling Jared out of his clothes than seeing him cover that gorgeous body.

“I’ll call before I come over,” Jared promised, bending down to kiss him. When Jared tried to pull away, Jensen held on, not willing to let him go yet, even if it was only for a few hours while he went to class. “Jensen,” he said, laughing a little, and Jensen reluctantly sat back.

He was almost to the door when Jensen called him back. “Hey, Jay? Can you not tell anyone about this? About us?”

“You don’t want anyone to know?”

Jensen swallowed at the hurt expression on Jared’s face. “I just want to keep you to myself for awhile.”

Jared looked at him sharply, eyes narrowed. “This is about Jeff and Ian, not just anybody. You don’t want them to know, do you?”

“Jeff’s gonna be pissed and Ian––I just want to wait awhile.”

Jared remained silent for a long moment in which Jensen felt like an asshole and wished he hadn’t opened his mouth. Eventually, Jared nodded.

“Okay, but we’ll have to tell them sometime.”

“I know, and we will.”

“I’ve gotta go. Talk to you later.”

Jared walked out with a smile and a little wave, so Jensen figured he wasn’t too pissed.

He stayed in bed for another couple hours, dozing on and off. Once he got up and ate a late breakfast, he wasn’t sure what to do with himself. He often felt at loose ends on days off; they were so rare lately, and he usually spent the whole time thinking about the hospital, wondering if his patients were all right and hoping no one had taken a turn for the worse.

He was much better at letting things go than he used to be. When he first started, he’d often spend his breaks in the locker room crying or lie awake worrying himself into a migraine. Meeting Jeff and Chad and later Ian helped a lot, got him to focus on other things besides work and in Ian’s case, distracted him with sex. He still thought about his patients and worried, just not as much.

Today, though, his mind was constantly on Jared, remembering last night, how Jared felt, the way he tasted. He felt a little like an idiot about obsessing like this. It really had been a long time since he actually dated someone instead of simply hooking up. He kept wanting to call or text Jared and finally hid his phone in a kitchen drawer. Hoping the cold air would clear his mind, he went for a run. It worked, to an extent.

Jared ended up calling right after Jensen got out of a post-run shower, and he had to scramble in the drawer before the call went to voicemail.

“Hey, hello. Sorry,” he said, scrubbing a towel over his still damp hair.

“You okay? You sound out of breath.”

“No, I’m fine.” Dropping the towel on the counter, he leaned back and crossed his ankles, smiling helplessly just from the sound of Jared’s voice. “Are you out of class?”

“Yeah. I’m on the way to your place now.”

“Great. I’ll put a frozen pizza in the oven.”

There was a brief silence and then Jared laughed self-consciously.

“So I should’ve just stayed with you this morning. I didn’t pay attention to a damn thing because I kept thinking about you and how much I want to kiss you.”

“Yeah?” Grinning, Jensen moved to the freezer and pulled out the pizza box. “Tell me more.”

So Jared did, in enough detail that Jensen’s pants got uncomfortably tight, and he _really_ couldn’t wait for Jared to get there.

***

Jensen opened his eyes to Jared’s face a few inches away from his own. Smiling softly, he scooted back a bit, then propped his head up on his elbow so he could see Jared better. Jared was still sound asleep, curled up on his side with a pillow clutched to his chest. They forgot to close the curtains last night, so morning light poured into the room, bathing Jared in an unearthly golden glow. The sun loved Jared, making his skin rosy and his hair shine. Jensen reached out and traced the dark arch of Jared’s eyebrow with his thumb, then curled his hand around Jared’s jaw before leaning in to press a feather-light kiss to his cheek. Jared shifted and scrunched up his nose at that, till Jensen backed off, not wanting to wake Jared up yet.

He was content to simply look. Jared was gorgeous like this, and they were still new enough that Jensen couldn’t believe he was allowed to openly watch Jared. He let his gaze trail all over Jared, starting with his relaxed, peaceful face, mouth parted slightly, slipping down the curve of his shoulder and the cut of his bicep, obvious even through the thin cotton of his white long-sleeved tee. Down farther to the sharpness of his hipbone, contrasted to the roundness of his ass, visible from where his shirt had rucked up and he’d kicked the sheets off. Jared always ran several degrees warmer than Jensen, and he loved the nights he got to curl into Jared’s arms on the still cold spring nights. It’d be different in the summer when Ohio’s humidity made everything unbearable, but for now it felt good to have an extra, Jared-shaped blanket.

After several long minutes of watching Jared’s even breath grow shallower, Jared opened his eyes, blinked a few times, then closed them tight again, groaning faintly at the bright light. Grinning, Jensen splayed his hand across the smooth, silky skin of Jared’s hip and bent down to press a brief kiss to Jared’s mouth.

“Morning,” he said, and Jared replied with a grunt that clearly indicated he wasn’t fully coherent yet.

Jensen spent the next couple minutes rubbing circles on Jared’s stomach and smattering random kisses all over his face. When Jared started moving into the touch and rested a hand at the small of Jensen’s back, Jensen murmured another _good morning_ against his cheek.

“Hi,” Jared mumbled, nudging his nose against Jensen. “Were you watching me sleep?”

“No!” Jensen blurted, feeling heat creep into his face.

Craning his head back, Jared studied him, then grinned. “Yes, you were. Creeper.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Oh, yeah?” Jared poked him in the side and nipped at his neck. “Creeper,” he repeated in a far too amused tone, which meant Jensen had to retaliate with the effective method of tickle-attack.

It hadn’t taken long to find out Jared was terribly ticklish on the inside of his elbows, along the backs of his knees, and behind his left ear. He used this knowledge to his advantage now and enjoyed the upper hand for a few precious minutes until Jared exploited his superior height and muscle-mass to flip them over. He landed on top of Jensen, pinning him to the bed with their hips lined up perfectly. He smiled, wide and playful, and Jensen swallowed at how _good_ it all was.

“Hey,” Jared said, head-butting Jensen in the chin. “What’s up?”

“Nothing,” he answered truthfully, because everything was perfect from where he was.

“Seriously, what’s up? You have a line between your eyes right here.” He pressed a thumb to Jensen’s forehead, then smoothed it down Jensen’s jawline.

“I’m just glad you’re here,” Jensen told him quietly, and Jared ducked down to kiss him.

Jensen arched into it, threading his fingers through Jared’s thick hair and bringing him down closer. They kissed until the sour taste of morning breath was gone, deep kisses and kisses where their mouths barely met. Jensen sucked on Jared’s bottom lip, which he’d quickly learned was a sensitive area for Jared. Jared pulled away to pant against Jensen’s shoulder, and they lay there in silence for awhile, Jensen combing through Jared’s tangled hair.

“You don’t remember the first time we met, do you?”

Jensen raised an eyebrow at Jared’s random question, hand stilling to rest on the back of his neck.

“Of course I do. We met briefly when Jeff paraded you through the halls of the hospital, introducing you to everyone as his genius little brother and then again properly a couple months later at one of his parties. It was right after you’d graduated from U of Dayton.”

Propping himself up on Jensen’s chest, Jared shook his head. “It was actually the year before at his New Year’s Eve party.”

“I don’t remember that.”

“I’m not surprised. I was a skinny nerd, and you were drunk off your ass.”

Jensen laughed. “Sounds like Jeff’s New Year’s Eve parties. Sorry I don’t remember you.”

Jared shook his head again and kissed Jensen’s chin. “I was pretty forgettable back then.”

“Jared.”

“No, I really was. You were gorgeous and confident, and I was the clichéd blushing virgin. Couldn’t even talk to you coherently. I think I babbled at you about a book I was reading, which you clearly weren’t interested in, but you were nice about it.”

Jensen searched his memory for any recollection of meeting a much younger Jared that night but came up blank. The party itself was a hazy blur for him, mostly filled with beer, tequila, and a huge glass of champagne at midnight. Jeff’s apartment had been crowded, humid from all the extra bodies. Jared must’ve been among it all, but any memory of him and their conversation was gone.

“I’m sure you were adorable,” Jensen told him. “I like it when you babble.”

Jared scrunched his nose up and ducked his head, ears going pink in a way that could only be described as cute. He brushed Jared’s bangs out of his eyes, then cupped his cheek.

“I’m glad we met again now.”

“Me too.”

***

Jensen jerked his hand away from Jared’s again.

“Jensen,” he said, voice clipped, which clearly meant he was getting exasperated. “I really doubt anyone we know is here. Just calm down, okay?”

_It’s Cleveland, not the moon_ , he thought but wisely kept it to himself.

Jared had wanted to go on an actual date outside of Jensen’s apartment, and Jensen agreed, either because he couldn’t resist Jared’s dimples or because his brain had still been hazy from an amazing blowjob. Whichever the case, they were here at the Cleveland Museum of Natural History, since Jared was kind of a nerd. And Jensen absolutely didn’t find that cute and endearing. He couldn’t help constantly looking over his shoulder, though, expecting Jeff to jump out of nowhere and yell at him for seducing his little brother, even if Jared did most of the seducing.

“Hey, in case you haven’t noticed, I’m sorta tall and muscly.”

Jensen frowned at Jared’s random statement, wondering if he’d somehow blacked out and missed half a conversation.

“I did notice, yes, since you enjoy manhandling me.” Jared grinned, wolfish and unrepentant, and Jensen’s whole body flushed with arousal. “What does that have to do with anything?” he asked, ignoring how breathless he sounded.

They were standing right by a Neanderthal display, and it felt like the figures were staring right at them and listening to their conversation. Jensen edged slightly away, shuffling a step or two closer to Jared.

“It means I can hold my own against my brother, who may be taller but has gone soft from lack of sleep and daylight. It also means I can defend you against him as well if it comes to it. So relax and have fun.” He very deliberately gripped Jensen’s hand, thumb brushing lightly over his knuckles.

Jensen exhaled slowly, then nodded. “All right. But just so we agree. If Jeff gets mad and starts throwing punches, I’m allowed to hide behind you and let you take the brunt of the attack?”

Jared grinned and pressed his forehead against Jensen’s. “Absolutely.”

Jensen did manage to relax enough to enjoy the museum, but that was mostly due to Jared’s enthusiasm for everything, from the giant mastodon to the trilobite fossils. They spent hours wandering from display to display, fingers sometimes tangled together. Late in the day, Jensen geeked out over the planetarium, which he loved, despite it being geared toward children with the muppet characters.

“I wanted to be an astronaut when I was younger. I blame it entirely on that movie _Space Camp_. I wanted a talking robot best friend and to float around in space,” Jensen said, tipping his head back to stare up at the star display reflected on the ceiling.

Jared smiled and stroked his fingertips over the inside of Jensen’s knee. Jensen shifted into the touch, feeling loose enough to not worry about someone they know seeing them.

“I don’t know,” Jared answered. “Astronauts have to wear a lot of gear. I think you’re sexier in scrubs. They’re certainly easier to strip off you.”

Jensen snorted. “Nice to know you have your priorities in order. I always knew you were smart.”

Jared grinned at him, bright and dimpled, and it made Jensen’s heart pound hard in his chest.

They decided to call it a day not long after. As they left the museum, Jared knocked their shoulders together.

“Will you freak out on me if I attempt to hold your hand on the way to the car?” he asked. His voice sounded teasing, but Jensen could tell it actually meant something to him.

“No,” he promised, and Jared immediately linked his hand with Jensen’s.

It felt good. Their hands fit, and Jensen didn’t once look around to see who might be noticing them. After that, it was easy to let Jared press him against the car door and kiss him, gentle and sweet.

The ride home was mostly silent, Jensen concentrating on navigating through heavy Cleveland traffic and Jared staring out the window. Halfway back, Jared fiddled with the radio before settling on a country station, then casually curled his hand around Jensen’s thigh. Jensen automatically moved into it, letting his legs fall open slightly. Jared took advantage of this and inched his palm up higher on Jensen’s leg, fingertips barely brushing over the fly of his jeans.

“Don’t start something you can’t finish,” Jensen warned, tightening his hands on the wheel when Jared got a bit too close to his half-hard dick. Jared’s palm was warm and heavy and felt good but still. “Jared.”

“You’re no fun,” Jared huffed.

“Oh, sorry if I don’t want to get into an accident because you’re feeling frisky.”

“Frisky?” Jared snorted but slid his hand back to Jensen’s knee. Jensen blew out a shaky breath. “Fine, but when we get back to your place, I’m not holding back.

True to his word, Jared pinned him to the door as soon as they got inside and licked a stripe up his neck to the spot behind his ear. He sucked hard, the same time as he thumbed open Jensen’s pants and slipped inside his boxer briefs, wrapping a loose fist around Jensen’s quickly hardening dick.

“Jesus,” Jensen groaned and bucked his hips, wrists flexing in the tight grip Jared had on them above his head. His skin scraped across the rough wood of the door, but he barely felt it, all his focus on Jared’s mouth and the hand around his erection.

Jared smiled, biting his way across Jensen’s jaw to his mouth, claiming him for a kiss that left Jensen shaking and desperate.

Jared had a callous on his middle finger from writing so much and a ridged scar on his thumb from doing something stupid as a kid. Jensen could feel both spots as Jared jacked him, huge hand tight around his dick, precome slicking the way. He kept altering his rhythm, so he’d get Jensen to the edge and drag him back, over and over again, and it was making Jensen go crazy with the need to get off.

“Jared, please. God, Jared, come on. Please,” he begged raggedly.

His arms were tingling from being held up for so long, his knees shook, and he needed to come so badly he could almost taste it. Jared grinned and mouthed at Jensen’s jaw, then did something amazing with his hand that had Jensen’s orgasm ripping through him so hard that his vision blurred around the edges.

While he slowly came back to himself, Jared jerked himself off, much faster and rougher than he did Jensen, and came with a low whine that Jensen found surprisingly hot. He looked down, at their come messy and thick on both of them, and groaned when his dick twitched feebly. Jared was still breathing hard and glassy-eyed, pupils blown wide. Jensen tugged his hands free from Jared’s now lax grip and cupped his cheek gently. He kissed him lightly, and Jared hummed into it.

“Come on, let’s get cleaned up,” Jensen said, leading Jared down the hall toward the bathroom.

If their shower outlasted the hot water, it was no surprise.

***

“Miss Heather has her meds and is all settled for now,” Jensen told Margarite, making a note on the chart and handing it over. “She’s having a little trouble with the TV remote, though, so she’ll probably hit the button in another five minutes.”

Margarite laughed softly. “Noted. You off on your break?”

“Yeah, meeting Chad downstairs. He says he has something important to talk about.”

She arched one dark eyebrow. “Really now?”

“Your guess is as good as mine. Good luck with Heather,” he called as he walked away.

Chad was already in the cafeteria once he got there, so he grabbed his salad and headed over to Chad’s table.

“Hey,” he said, setting down his stuff and falling into the chair across from Chad.

“Yo. You have that ‘patients are so stupid’ look on your face. What happened?”

Jensen wrinkled his nose as he poured the dressing over his salad. “Nothing major. Just the technology-impaired getting confused by the simple buttons on the TV remote.”

Rolling his eyes, Chad gestured with his French fry. “Because channel up and down is so hard to figure out?”

“Apparently.”

He snorted. “Anyway. I’ve decided to propose to Kenzie.”

“No shit? It’s about time, man!”

“Well, I was saving for a ring and finally have enough. I didn’t want to buy something shitty.”

“Right, of course. Congrats, man. This is awesome! I’m happy for you and proud of you.”

“Thanks.” Chad beamed. Jensen had never seen Chad look that content before, and he felt ridiculously happy for his friend. “Will you go with me to pick out a ring?”

“Me? Why? I have no idea what Kenzie would like.”

“I talked to her mom for ideas. I need you there to stop me from doing something stupid, like buying her a 10carat diamond.”

“I’m pretty sure she wouldn’t like anything that big, and you’d be in debt for ages.”

“See!” Chad exclaimed, waving another French fry. “This is why I need you!”

“All right, all right,” Jensen laughed. “I’ll go, but can we make it tomorrow? I don’t get off till 8:30 tonight.” _And Jared’s supposed to come over._ That thought had him squirming guiltily, and he pushed back the urge to blurt out the truth to Chad. Of all his friends, Chad had the least involvement in his relationship with Jared. He probably couldn’t care less, but he was also generally terrible at keeping secrets, except when it came to surprises for Kenzie. He’d end up telling Jeff and Ian within a day and Jensen would be in deep shit.

“Sure. I’m off tomorrow anyway, so that works.”

The next day, Chad picked him up for a change, and they drove to the mall. Jensen hated the mall and pretty much avoided it at all costs. Eventually, after what felt like hours and hours, Jensen figured out why Chad chose to come here––he couldn’t make a decision to save his life and this way, there were multiple jewelry stores in one building.

“Chad,” he whined as they walked out of the second store. “Do you have to look at every ring in the city? Can’t you just pick one?”

“Dude! This is an important decision!” Chad protested, slowing down to frown at him.

“No, I know. I’m just tired and cranky.”

“If I feed you, will that help?”

“Oh, yes. I can be bribed with food.”

Even if it was just bad Chinese from the food court. It went a long way to renewing his energy for another round of ring-gazing. Jensen wandered off a-ways to look at a pair of ruby earrings for his mom’s birthday while Chad deliberated over a simple, princess-cut diamond. It would suit Kenzie perfectly, just like the other dozen rings he’d already considered.

“Do you know how you’re gonna ask her?” Jensen asked, drifting back over to find Chad staring at yet another ring, this one a slightly larger square-cute stone with smaller chips surrounding it.

“Yeah. Think I’m going the clichéd romantic dinner, roses, candles, me on one knee, sappy speech route. Kenzie won’t like it if I put her on the spot in public, so I’m going to order something in.”

“You’ve really been planning this for awhile, huh?”

Chad shrugged and pointed to yet another ring in the display for the jeweler to get out. It was heart-shaped and similar to one from the first store.

“I wanted it to be perfect for her. That’s why I waited so long. It wasn’t because I wasn’t sure about her. I knew I was gonna marry Kenzie about six hours after I met her.” Blowing out a breath, Chad shook his head and set the heart ring down, then studied the square-cut one again. “What do you think?” he asked, holding the ring out toward Jensen.

“I think Kenzie’s a lucky woman and she’ll love whichever one you choose.”

“Thanks,” Chad answered quietly. “All right. Before I change my mind again, I’ll take this one.”

He passed the ring to the infinitely patient jeweler. He must be used to indecisive customers, because he maintained a pleasant, attentive expression the whole time and easily answered all of Chad’s questions.

“You sure?” 

“Yep.”

“You have to let me know when she says yes.”

“First thing I’ll do. Well, after the mind-blowing, celebratory sex anyway.”

Jensen laughed and clapped him on the back. Chad was reliable; he never changed and most of the time, that was a good thing.

Two days later on Saturday night, Jensen was curled up on the couch with Jared watching a movie when his phone buzzed, skipping across the coffee table from the force of the vibration. Jensen didn’t move, couldn’t since Jared was sprawled on top of him and pinning him to the couch. Jared reached out an impossibly long arm to snag it for him, and Jensen wriggled a hand out from between them to flip it open.

There was a text from Chad–– _She said YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!_ ––with a picture attached of a brightly smiling Kenzie showing off her ring. It looked perfect on her finger, he noted.

_Congrats!!! So happy for both of you! Kiss Kenz for me!_

“What’s up?” Jared asked, touching his cheek. “You’re grinning like a dork.”

“Chad. He just proposed to his girlfriend. Fiancé now, I guess.”

“That’s great!”

“Yeah, it is.”

He was always a bit jealous of Chad, his only friend with a steady relationship, even if it wasn’t something he was exactly looking for. But now he had Jared and found himself no longer jealous of Chad and Kenzie, just happy for his friends.

Jared wrinkled his nose at him. “What’s going on in that head of yours? Now you look all wistful.”

Smiling, Jensen kissed him lightly on the mouth. “Nothing. Just thinking that we’re all growing up now.”

“That’s a good thing, right?”

“Definitely.”

Jared nuzzled Jensen’s cheek, then kissed him, lingering this time, until Jensen lost track of everything else, Chad and the movie forgotten.

***

“So I’ve been thinking,” Jared said, rolling onto his stomach and half on top of Jensen, his pointy chin digging into Jensen’s chest.

“Yeah? I was hoping I’d exhausted you too much for that.”

Grinning, Jared kissed his chest. “You did. But that’s what I’ve been thinking about.” Jensen cocked an eyebrow, waiting for him to elaborate. “I think we should stay in bed all day.”

He snorted and combed his fingers through Jared’s tangled hair. “Oh, yeah? There’s one small problem with that. I told Chad I’d work half his shift for him today so he can go away with Kenzie this weekend.”

Jared pouted, which only made Jensen want to suck on his bottom lip. So he did, licking into Jared’s mouth, sliding his tongue against Jared’s and tasting every inch inside. Jared whimpered and shifted closer, nudging Jensen’s legs apart and slipping a knee between. He framed Jensen’s face with his huge hands and angled Jensen into a kiss that skipped any niceties and dove straight into filthy.

They kissed for a long time, hours with their mouths hungry on each other without any intention of taking it further. This was one thing Jensen didn’t realize he missed about having a boyfriend, just making out for hours and not necessarily expecting anything out of it. Getting off was great, but he loved these moments best, Jared’s big body covering him, Jared’s tongue doing wicked things against his.

By the time Jared pulled away to suck a bruise onto Jensen’s chest, tantalizingly close to one peaked nipple, Jensen’s lips were tingling and he felt lightheaded and strung out. He’d like nothing more than to stay here for much longer, but a quick glance at the clock confirmed that he was running out of time to get ready and head to the hospital. Jared licked his way over to Jensen’s nipple and bit down gently, and Jensen silently cursed Chad and his stupid, pathetic _please help me_ look.

“Jared,” Jensen groaned, trying to lift Jared’s head and get his attention, but Jared simply smiled against Jensen’s skin, then focused on the other nipple. “Jared, seriously. I have to shower and get going. Chad will glare at me if I’m late, and I hate his glare.”

Jared’s laughter reverberated through him in a way that made Jensen want to say _screw Chad! I’m staying here to screw Jared instead!_ But he was much too responsible and invested in their patients’ lives to ever actually do that.

Dammit.

“I really need to go now,” Jensen said.

This seemed to be a recurring theme for them––one of them trying to leave for some reason and the other one tempting him into staying with kisses and nakedness. He hoped it’d be better soon when Jared was out of school for the summer.

Slumping onto his back, Jared sighed and grumbled under his breath. Jensen used the opportunity to slip out of bed and gather a clean pair of scrubs. Jared watched him move around the room, gaze heated and intense on him the whole time.

“Don’t get any ideas,” Jensen warned, glancing back over his shoulder at Jared, and Jared huffed.

“What do you expect when you wander around naked and bend over like that. I can’t ignore a perfect ass, Jensen. I’m only human.”

The body wasn’t meant to blush and get an erection at the same time; it left Jensen confused, turned on, and dizzy.

“You’re not being fair,” he accused, to which Jared shrugged and smiled smugly, lifting his arms over his head so his gloriously naked body and half-hard dick were on full display. Jensen closed his eyes and prayed for self-control, then fled the room before he could climb back into bed and kiss the smugness right off Jared’s face.

By the time he hurried through his mostly cold shower and left the bathroom, Jared was dressed and sprawled out on the couch, remote in hand.

“You taking off then?” he asked. His eyes were on the TV, some nature show about bees as far as Jensen could tell, but he kept glancing at Jensen as he grabbed his jacket and put on his shoes.

“Yeah. Will you be here when I get back?”

“I should probably be good and do homework tonight.”

“Well, whatever. Just lock the door if you do leave.”

“Or I could wait here and then we could pick up where we left off earlier,” Jared suggested, dropping his head back over the couch to flash Jensen an upside down smirk.

“That’s an even better idea.” Even if it did leave him half hard and regretting saying yes to Chad.

Scooping up his keys, Jensen walked over to the couch and leaned over to thoroughly kiss Jared goodbye. Hopefully it’d tide them both over until he got back home.

***

Jensen almost detoured right back out of the cafeteria when he saw Jeff and Ian sitting together at a table by the window. But Jeff had already spotted him, so he wove through the tables and sat down across from Ian.

“Dude! Long time, no see!” Jeff complained, punching him lightly on the shoulder.

Jensen winced. He wasn’t precisely avoiding Jeff and Ian on purpose, but he didn’t exactly want to face them either, especially together. He always felt guilty and worried that something he said would give him away, and he didn’t want them to be pissed at him. Every time he saw Jeff, he remembered the conversation where Jeff told him his worst nightmare was one of his friends dating Jared or Megan. Someday soon, they needed to come clean, or Jensen was going to blurt it out at a really terrible time.

“Yeah, sorry,” Jensen said, concentrating on his salad so he wouldn’t have to look either of them in the eye. “I’ve been busy, picking up extra shifts for Chad and Margarite.” It wasn’t entirely a lie. He had worked for each of them in the past couple weeks, but Jared certainly took up most of his time.

Jeff scoffed and waved a hand dismissively. “Stop being so nice and hang out with your other friends for a change.”

“Yes. Soon,” Ian agreed.

“Wow, guys, I’d think you missed me or something,” Jensen said, grinning. He did miss everyone, even in the midst of new relationship bliss with Jared.

Before anyone could answer, Jeff’s phone buzzed, screen lighting up the pocket of his white coat. Jeff fished it out and read the message, then sighed forlornly as he looked at his half-finished lunch.

“Emergency. Gotta go back upstairs.” He gathered his stuff and pointed a finger at Jensen. “Don’t be a stranger.”

“Right,” Jensen answered, trying not to squirm under Jeff’s stern gaze.

There was a moment of silence after Jeff left while they went back to eating, then Ian smiled and said, “We do, you know. Miss you.”

“Okay, I get it. You guys can’t function without me. It’s understandable. I am pretty awesome.”

Ian rolled his eyes. “And so modest, too. Anyway. Do you want to come over this weekend?”

He knew from Ian’s tone and his cocked eyebrow that he didn’t mean it in a friends-hanging-out way.

“Sorry, I can’t.”

This wasn’t the first time he’d turned Ian down recently, but Ian didn’t call him on it, simply narrowed his eyes before taking a bite of his sandwich.

It surprised Jensen how quickly Ian stopped having an effect on him. Before, all he had to do was stand there and it turned Jensen on. But after being with Jared for the past several weeks, he didn’t want anybody else. The sex wasn’t necessarily better, not in technical terms anyway, but there was something right about falling asleep with Jared wrapped around him or even just spending time with him. Ian was great for a hookup and one of his best friends, but he never made Jensen feel shivery and giddy by just being in the same room like Jared did now.

“I work late on Friday and Saturday, and Sunday I have to go to Mom’s,” he explained, glad he had a legitimate excuse this time instead of whatever bullshit story he’d fed Ian before.

“Is your mum all right?”

“Oh, no, she’s great. Josh has some sort of announcement, so we’ve all been summoned to the house.”

If he hadn’t seen his friends in awhile, he’d been absolutely neglecting his family. Not that they were a close family or got together a lot anyway, but he had no clue what Josh’s announcement could be. He was looking forward to Sunday and catching up with everybody.

“That sounds like fun.”

“It should be. We haven’t all been together since Christmas. But enough about me. How’ve you been?”

Ian’s face lit up as he described a patient with dextrocardia, a reversal of the heart’s position in the chest, that he performed a bypass on last week. He looked like a kid on his birthday, practically bouncing in his seat as he told Jensen about the surgery and the article he hoped to write based on his observations. Jensen had to admit it was pretty cool––anything unusual like that created a buzz among the staff–– but he mostly just liked listening to Ian ramble.

“I think Jared’s been seeing someone,” Ian mentioned out of the blue once they’d moved onto other topics, and Jensen nearly choked on his mouthful of salad. He turned it into a cough instead. Ian arched an eyebrow to ask if he was okay, and he nodded. Reaching for his water, he swigged some to get his breath back.

“What makes you say that?” he asked, voice coming out hoarse.

“He’s been extra happy lately. He’s gone a lot and comes home at strange hours of the night.”

“So do you.”

Ian tipped his glass toward Jensen in a silent toast. “Anyway. He’s all secretive about it. Whenever I ask him, he acts flustered and nervous and runs away to hide in his room.”

“Maybe it’s not a guy. He could be selling drugs or something.”

Ian gave him a look, and Jensen knew his joke had fallen flat.

“Oh, it’s definitely a guy,” Ian insisted. “I’ve heard him talking on the phone as well.”

Jensen panicked a bit, wracking his brain for anything incriminating he and Jared had talked about over the last couple weeks. Nothing came to mind, but they’d need to be more careful in the future, just in case.

“I think he’s having an affair with one of his professors and that’s the reason for all the secrecy.”

Jensen did choke this time, but only because Ian’s statement startled a laugh out of him.

“Are you insane? Jared would never so something like that!” Ian maintained his serious expression for a few more moments before breaking out into a huge grin. “Jerk,” Jensen said, throwing his balled up napkin at Ian’s head. He ducked at the last second, and the napkin fell limply onto the table.

“Seriously, though, he’s up to something.”

“Maybe,” he hedged. “Even if he is, leave me out of it, man. We should respect his privacy and all that shit.”

“Yeah, all right.” He gathered his trash onto his plate and stood up. “I’ve gotta get back upstairs to do rounds and some prep work for a surgery tomorrow. See you later, mate.”

He squeezed Jensen’s shoulder on his way out, and Jensen only felt a little guilty for lying to him. 

***

Jensen stared at Jared for a long time, thinking exhaustion was causing him to hallucinate.

“Hey,” he said finally, voice scratchy and rough even to his own ears. “I thought you had an exam.”

“I did. Got done early and thought I’d head over here, maybe make you dinner.” He hefted the canvas grocery bags hanging from his arms, then searched Jensen’s face, frowning. “You sounded absolutely wrecked on the phone. I just wanted to make sure you were okay, but I can leave if you want to sleep or whatever.”

“No,” he replied weakly, then repeated it with a little more feeling so Jared would know he meant it. “Come on in.”

He stepped back to let Jared past and stood there kind of listlessly while Jared set his stuff down in the kitchen area. He couldn’t explain how, but he just felt off, not like himself. He hated days like this. Suddenly Jared appeared in front of him and asked if he was okay. Jensen shook his head to clear it.

“Yeah, I’m fine. It was just a bad day.”

“Sure?”

Jensen nodded. “Yeah.”

Jared wrapped him up in a tight hug, and Jensen sank into it with a tired sigh. Closing his eyes, he buried his face in the curve of Jared’s neck.

“Wanna talk about it?” Jared asked softly, and somehow his genuine concern only made Jensen feel worse.

“No.”

Talking about it meant dwelling on it, and dwelling on it meant he couldn’t move on for the patients he needed to be all right for tomorrow. It didn’t matter anyway. Jared couldn’t bring back a patient that Jensen and two doctors couldn’t save in the first place.

“Okay,” Jared answered easily.

They stood there for a while in silence. Jensen soaked in Jared’s warmth, grateful he didn’t push for answers. This happened very seldom for Jensen, where he couldn’t cope with the futility and shittiness that came with working with sick and injured people. He usually shrugged it off or had a beer with the guys or went to Ian, but he couldn’t seem to shake his mood tonight.

“Tell you what,” Jared said, taking a couple steps back. Jensen immediately missed his warmth. “I’m going to start the food. Why don’t you get a shower?”

“Are you saying I smell?” Jensen’s teasing tone missed the mark a bit, but at least he didn’t sound quite as awful.

“Well, I was trying to ignore it but––” He playfully wrinkled his nose, then grinned, and Jensen found that he could actually smile in return. “Just go relax while I cook. Shower or TV, whatever will help.”

Jensen nodded and closed his eyes again when Jared kissed his cheek. After a minute of indecision, Jensen headed for the bathroom and a hot shower while Jared created a mess in his kitchen. Jensen came back out, feeling marginally better, just as Jared retrieved the homemade macaroni and cheese from the oven.

“That smells awesome,” Jensen told him, leaning against the counter by the stove.

“Thank you. It’s my grandma’s recipe. She basically taught me everything I know about cooking.”

“You’re gonna spoil me with homemade food if you keep doing this.”

“And that would be bad how?”

Jensen blushed and ducked his head to hide his pleased smile. It’d been a long time since he had anybody to care for him like this, and he was glad Jared was the one here right now. He was increasingly becoming the only person Jensen wanted to see. That was both scary and exciting.

Jared filled two huge bowls with pasta, and they took them into the living room to eat. Jared found a mindless sitcom for them to watch, something innocuously funny that, along with the good food, went a long way toward improving his mood. Jared helped even more, simply by being there. Jensen sat on the couch as close to Jared as he could get without impeding their ability to eat. Jared didn’t complain once, not even when their elbows bumped.

“This is really good. I’m gonna have you cook for me all the time now,” Jensen said, scraping the last of the cheese out of his bowl.

“Thanks. And anytime. I like to cook, but Ian’s usually gone, and it’s not as much fun to make things just for myself.” Grabbing Jensen’s bowl, Jared stood up. “Do you want more?”

“God, no. I’m stuffed.”

Jared laughed and bent down to kiss him. He tasted like whatever cheeses he’d put in the pasta, and Jensen lingered, chasing that incredible taste.

Jared eventually left to clean up the kitchen, and Jensen curled up on the couch. The day was finally blurring to a manageable level, but he still heard the loud beeping of the heart monitor, still felt as helpless as when their best efforts failed to regain a heartbeat. Sighing, he scrubbed a hand over his face, then startled when his phone started buzzing and skipping over the coffee table. It was a text from Ian.

_Just got home. U okay? Wanna come over? Jared’s not here._

Jensen winced guiltily. _I’m fine. Just going to bed._

_Sure?_

_Yeah. But thanks._

_Feel better, mate._

“Someone checking up on you?” Jared asked.

“Ian.” Jensen tossed his phone onto the table and flipped onto his back to look up at Jared. By his slightly uncomfortable expression, Jensen knew Jared had guessed the nature of Ian’s text.

“Ah. And you––”

“Said I’m fine and going to bed.” Sitting up, he pulled Jared down onto the couch with him and pressed a short kiss to his mouth.

“And are you? Fine?”

“Getting there,” Jensen promised.

“Good. Come on,” Jared urged, tugging Jensen with him when he stood again. “My plan includes more than feeding you.”

Jensen arched an eyebrow, especially since Jared was leading him toward the bedroom. Ian’s fix-it-all  may be sex, but he didn’t expect the same from Jared.

“Oh, shut up! That’s not what I meant! Uh, take off your shirt and lie on your stomach, please,” he added sheepishly once they reached Jensen’s room.

“I didn’t say anything! But whatever you want. I’m in your hands.”

He stripped off his t-shirt and climbed onto the bed, lying down on his stomach. A moment later, he felt Jared straddle his thighs and settle back.

“So we’ve been talking in class about how sometimes the lightest touch will help people’s injuries or relax them enough for the deeper manipulations,” Jared explained, smoothing his palms up Jensen’s back on either side of his spine in one long, fluid arc. “Since you’re my favorite living model, I thought I’d practice on you.”

“Hm,” he mumbled, already feeling the tension draining from his body under Jared’s gentle touch.

“I take that to mean you’re okay with being my guinea pig?”

“Yes. Please.”

Jared paused to lean down and brush a kiss to the back of Jensen’s neck, his lips curved up into an unmistakable smile.

Jensen stayed quiet as Jared worked, falling into a half-doze. Jared concentrated mainly on lightly kneading the knots out of his shoulders and neck. Jared had amazing hands. For all that they were big and capable of much strength, they could also be incredibly gentle. Jensen had no doubt he’d be a great physical therapist someday.

By the time Jared finished and sat back on his heels, Jensen had practically melted into the mattress, muscles loose and finally free of the tension he’d carried around for most of the day. Jared crawled up the bed to lie beside him, and Jensen rolled onto his back, reaching out to comb the hair out of Jared’s eyes. Smiling, Jared propped himself up on an elbow and splayed one hand over Jensen’s chest, thumb sweeping slowly back and forth.

“Are you feeling better?” he asked.

“I am. Thank you.”

“I didn’t do much.”

“You’re here. You’re you.”

“Oh. Well, that part’s easy,” he replied, clearly embarrassed.

Jensen wanted to stay up longer with Jared, but he was exhausted before and the massage only made it worse. He yawned and a second later, Jared mirrored him.

“All right, bedtime,” Jared told him, then got them both down to boxers.

Jensen fell asleep before Jared even settled back in bed.

***

“Stay over tonight,” Jared said.

Jensen looked up from tucking himself back into his scrubs and frowned. “Jared, I don’t––”

“Please?” Jared closed the foot of distance between them in the empty patient room and molded himself against Jensen’s body, hooking his arms around Jensen’s waist.

“Ian––”

“Told me today that he’s working a long shift and won’t be home till tomorrow night, if he’s lucky. Come on, Jensen,” he murmured, nuzzling against his cheek. “I want to fuck you in my own bed for a change.”

It was really unfair of Jared to say that, especially in the low voice that always made Jensen shiver _and_ when Jensen’s brain was still partly offline from an incredible blowjob.

“I’m not that easy, ya know. I expect dinner first.”

Jared laughed and brushed a kiss to his mouth. “I’ll cook you something amazing, promise.”

“All right.” Jared beamed at him, and he couldn’t help smiling back or leaning in for another, longer kiss. “I need to get back before someone comes looking for me. I should get done at 6 tonight.”

“Come over whenever. I’ll be home from class in the afternoon.”

Jared snagged one more kiss before slipping out into the hallway, Jensen following him a few minutes later. The rest of the day passed quickly and easily. Margarite even cut him loose early, since there wasn’t anything else to do and he was bored and bouncing off the walls a bit. 

He stopped at home first to change clothes and grab a six-pack. When Jensen walked into the apartment, it was obvious Jared had started cooking already. It smelled like tomato sauce and spices, with garlic overriding everything, just as Jensen liked it.

“Hey,” he called, dumping his shoes and coat by the door.

“Hi!” Jared popped his head out of the kitchen, then disappeared again. “Dinner should be ready in a few minutes.”

“No problem. I brought beer.”

Jared was standing at the counter chopping vegetables for a salad, long-sleeved shirt pushed up his forearms and the hems of his jeans hanging over his bare feet. Jensen pressed up against him from behind and kissed the back of his neck. Jared leaned back with a happy noise.

“I picked up a bottle of wine on the way home. You can go ahead and open it if you want.”

“Ooh, fancy. Any particular reason why you’re going to so much trouble?”

Shrugging, Jared glanced over his shoulder and smiled softly. “No reason. Just thought it’d be nice.”

Jensen rucked up Jared’s shirt and slipped a hand underneath, spreading his fingers over Jared’s flat stomach. He felt Jared’s abdominal muscles contract as Jared sucked in a breath. He smiled against the soft skin at the base of Jared’s neck, just above his collar, then traced his thumb down Jared’s happy trail, dipping down past his waistband.

Jared gasped quietly, the steady rhythm of his chopping faltering. “If I cut off my finger, it’ll be your fault,” he warned.

“Noted. Good thing I’m a nurse.”

“Jensen.” His breath hitched, and the knife clattered to the cutting board.

“Okay, fine. Later, though.”

Jared nodded and resumed fixing the salad with a shaky hand. Jensen nipped at his neck once, then stepped back.

“Do you want a glass of wine?” he asked.

“Yeah, thanks.”

Jensen opened the wine, then fetched glasses out of the cupboard. There weren’t any wine glasses, so he grabbed a couple bar glasses Ian “accidentally” brought home from Brady’s one night.

Of course, that was when the timer on the oven buzzed, and Jared pulled away to get what turned out to be lasagna. It smelled heavenly, and Jensen’s stomach growled loudly.

“Ya know, you really will spoil me with all this good food,” he mentioned. After spending so many years relying on take out and the hospital cafeteria, having Jared feed him all the time was a welcome change.

“You know I don’t mind. I like to cook. Hey, grab forks and bring the salad to the table?”

They settled down with their food and wine, a pile of Jared’s textbooks shoved to the side of the table. The lasagna tasted even better than it smelled. He unashamedly went back for seconds, since his schedule for the next few days meant he wouldn’t get real food for a while.

Sitting back, Jensen hooked his foot around Jared’s, slowly rubbing the back of his foot along Jared’s calf. Jared smiled lazily and filled their glasses again, finishing the wine off.

“Is there any dessert?” Jensen asked, picking up his glass.

“I could say something cheesy about me being your dessert, but I won’t. And, no, there isn’t any dessert.”

Jensen laughed, then leaned forward to kiss Jared. “I guess I’ll forgive you this time. Now, though, I remember you mentioning something about fucking me in your bed?”

Jared’s expression immediately changed from amused to heated, and he hauled Jensen in for a kiss that left them both breathless. Jared slipped his hand down to cup Jensen through his jeans, thumb rubbing over the head.

“Shit,” Jensen moaned, thrusting his hips into Jared’s grip.

“You like that?” he murmured and nipped at Jensen’s jaw, tightening his hand and increasing his pace.

The one time Jared wasn’t the least bit shy was during sex, and it turned Jensen on more than he expected. Jared was never timid about taking what he wanted or ramping Jensen up.

“Jesus, Jared, come on.” Jared’s fist was too loose, not enough pressure, and it was driving Jensen crazy. “Want you,” he gasped as Jared sucked on his neck.

In the end, they barely made it to the bedroom, Jensen too close to the edge and Jared eager to join him there. Jared fucked him on his knees from behind after the least amount of prep Jensen could stand. It burned a little, but that quickly gave way to pleasure, Jared filling him so good, his lips pressed to the back of his neck. It only took a few strokes of Jared’s hand on his dick before he was coming, and Jared followed him not long after.

Later, curled up in Jared’s arms and half-asleep, Jensen thought he heard a noise out in the living room, but he was too warm and content to pay much attention.

***

When Jensen stumbled into the kitchen in search of coffee, somebody was already at the machine, brewing a large pot.

“Uh, hi,” Jensen said, very nearly waving like an idiot.

Ian smirked at him, cocking one eyebrow in an amused expression Jensen knew well. Jensen wanted to ask him why he’d come home early, but Jensen wasn’t ready for the possible confrontation that would start and if Ian wasn’t bringing it up yet, neither was Jensen.

Ian broke their silent staring contest when the coffee finished brewing. Fetching another mug down from the cupboard, he poured them both some, then handed one to Jensen, who took it gratefully.

“So,” Ian said, staring at Jensen over the rim of his cup. “You and Jared, huh?”

“Uh,” he stammered, trying to come up with a logical reason why he crashed in Jared’s room last night.

“I’m not stupid, Jensen. I knew Jared was up to something. Also, his room is right next to mine, and I know your sex noises. So again, you and Jared, huh?”

Jensen flinched, feeling a blush creeping up his neck. “Uh, yeah? I’m kind of maybe in love with him,” he admitted quietly, and Ian’s eyes widened slightly. “I’m sorry!” he blurted.

Ian rolled his eyes. “Jensen, don’t be an idiot. I think it’s bloody fantastic.”

“You do?”

“Of course. You’re both brilliant, incredible guys. You deserve to be happy, and I’m glad you found each other. And I’m also glad to finally have the mystery solved of what’s been going on with Jared lately.”

Jensen grinned, shuffling closer to Ian. “You’re the best, you know that?”

Slinging an arm around Jensen’s waist, Ian beamed and kissed the side of Jensen’s head. “Nah, you are. Been telling you that for ages.”

Jensen set his mug on the counter, then hugged Ian, resting his cheek on Ian’s shoulder. They stood like that for quite awhile, until the sound of throat clearing from the doorway caused Jensen to turn his head. Jared leaned against the doorjamb, arms and ankles crossed, this soft look on his face that made Jensen’s insides go all melty.

“Is this a private moment, or can anyone join in?” Jared asked, lips quirking up at the corners.

“I need to get to the hospital anyway,” Ian said. He stepped back after one more squeeze to Jensen’s side. “He’s all yours,” he told Jared, and a happy zing went through Jensen’s body at the words.

Jared immediately took Ian’s place, crowding against Jensen and leaning in for a long kiss.

“He’s right. I am yours,” Jensen said softly.

“Yeah?” Jared murmured and nuzzled against Jensen’s cheek. “That’s good, because I’ve been yours for awhile now.”

Jensen tilted his head up to kiss Jared, one hand rasping over the stubble on Jared’s jaw. Jared smiled into it, pulling Jensen close and palms slipping down to cup Jensen’s ass. Distantly, Jensen heard the front door shut when Ian left.

“So,” Jensen said when they finally broke apart. “How long were you eavesdropping in the hallway to make sure the coast was clear before you came into the kitchen?”

Blushing, Jared laughed awkwardly. “Just a couple minutes. Enough to know Ian wasn’t pissed.”

“Not pissed at all. He’s happy for us.” Jensen made a face and picked up his coffee again. It was a little cool but still good. “Do you think our luck will hold out when Jeff finds out?”

Jared laughed again, though it almost sounded like a groan. “No?”

“Me either. Maybe we should have Ian talk to him.”

“That’s cruel.”

“But effective,” Jensen pointed out in a sing-song.

“Can we worry about it after breakfast? Someone kept me up late last night.”

Jensen grinned, pulse picking up, as Jared’s expression turned filthy and teasing. Splaying a hand over Jared’s abs under his shirt, Jensen nipped at Jared’s throat and jaw.

“Wanna skip breakfast and go back to bed?” he asked.

Jared’s smile sent shivers down his spine. “Absolutely.”

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> see LJ for notes, thanks, and a BONUS FIC (http://elless18.livejournal.com/49069.html)


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